I’ve had an extremely busy weekend, so I’ll skip the preliminaries and get right to business.
Rams at Falcons
Atlanta suffered a disappointing beginning to their defence of the NFC South crown by losing to arch-rival New Orleans. Roddy White’s injury served to highlight the delicate balance that exists in the Falcons’ offence; in order to run smoothly, all its parts have to be in top form. White is still less than 100%, and now, apparently, so is Julio Jones. The good news for Falcon fans is that the defence held the Saints to 23 points, no mean feat. The Rams had to stage a late comeback to beat the Cards last week, but at least their offence showed some life. This one could be closer than the Falcons will like. Winner: Falcons
Browns at Ravens
Cleveland lost at home to start the season again, as their offence succumbed to Miami’s speedy pass rush to the tune of six sacks. Baltimore got blown out in Denver, due to a disorganized with too many new parts, and a defence that got overwhelmed by Peyton Manning’s vast array of options and opportunities. Look for the Ravens to bounce back with a more solid effort at home. Brandon Weeden is no Peyton Manning. Winner: Ravens
Panthers at Bills
Bills fans, though disappointed that the team let a glorious opportunity slip away against the Pats, should be happy about the debut of QB EJ Manuel (although I spoke to one Bills fan who is reserving judgement for now). Manuel looks like he has the tools and the talent to become a legitimate NFL QB. As always, time will tell. Manuel, CJ Spiller, and the gang will be sorely tested by a tough Carolina defence this week, one which gave the Seahawks all they could handle last week. The best chance for Buffalo is if its pass rush can harry (no, that’s not a typo) Cam Newton into making mistakes and turning the ball over. Expect a low-scoring affair: Winner: Panthers
Washington at Packers
Washington’s offence looked disorganized on Monday night. The final score was deceptive, as RGIII and Co. made a late surge against an Eagles defence that was tired (more on that later). They won’t be quite so lucky in Green Bay. Winner: Packers
Titans at Texans
If you believe everything the experts are saying, then Tennessee proved last week that their defence is straightened out after last year’s horrific performance. I say, “Have you seen Pittsburgh’s offence?” Let’s just say that the Titans, to use a boxing metaphor, are stepping up in weight class. Houston won its opener, but looked unimpressive in doing so. Their vaunted defence got shredded by Phillip Rivers early, but stiffened in the second half to allow the Texans’ comeback. Houston needs a solid effort on both sides of the ball this week. I think they learned a valuable lesson against the Chargers. Winner: Texans
Cowboys at Chiefs
Kansas City did last week exactly what a team that wants to be taken seriously needs to do: they beat the shit out of a bad team. Now they host a Dallas team coming off an emotional win over its nemesis New York Giants. Sure, the Cowboys scored a lot, but they had way too many chances due to the Giants’ early ineptitude, and they still had to hang on at the end for a close win. If they’re expecting the Chiefs to just hand them a bunch of extra possessions like New York did, they’re in for a rude awakening. Winner: Chiefs
Vikings at Bears
Minnesota looked better than they are last week, but only because they played the poster boys for imbecility. Chicago won’t give them nearly as much mercy. Winner: Bears
Chargers at Eagles
Well, I watched the new Philly offence in action on Monday night, and all I can say is, “Holy shit!” They were bold, fast, innovative. Their defence faded at the end because the pace of the offence kept sending the defence back onto the field, and thus allowing Washington to mount a rally. Call the whole Chipmouse Kelly experiment a work in progress; it’s one that I will definitely watch. This week, Philip Rivers gets to see what it’s like on the other side of an early lopsided score. He could throw for 400 yards in the second half during his comeback.
Rams at Falcons
Atlanta suffered a disappointing beginning to their defence of the NFC South crown by losing to arch-rival New Orleans. Roddy White’s injury served to highlight the delicate balance that exists in the Falcons’ offence; in order to run smoothly, all its parts have to be in top form. White is still less than 100%, and now, apparently, so is Julio Jones. The good news for Falcon fans is that the defence held the Saints to 23 points, no mean feat. The Rams had to stage a late comeback to beat the Cards last week, but at least their offence showed some life. This one could be closer than the Falcons will like. Winner: Falcons
Browns at Ravens
Cleveland lost at home to start the season again, as their offence succumbed to Miami’s speedy pass rush to the tune of six sacks. Baltimore got blown out in Denver, due to a disorganized with too many new parts, and a defence that got overwhelmed by Peyton Manning’s vast array of options and opportunities. Look for the Ravens to bounce back with a more solid effort at home. Brandon Weeden is no Peyton Manning. Winner: Ravens
Panthers at Bills
Bills fans, though disappointed that the team let a glorious opportunity slip away against the Pats, should be happy about the debut of QB EJ Manuel (although I spoke to one Bills fan who is reserving judgement for now). Manuel looks like he has the tools and the talent to become a legitimate NFL QB. As always, time will tell. Manuel, CJ Spiller, and the gang will be sorely tested by a tough Carolina defence this week, one which gave the Seahawks all they could handle last week. The best chance for Buffalo is if its pass rush can harry (no, that’s not a typo) Cam Newton into making mistakes and turning the ball over. Expect a low-scoring affair: Winner: Panthers
Washington at Packers
Washington’s offence looked disorganized on Monday night. The final score was deceptive, as RGIII and Co. made a late surge against an Eagles defence that was tired (more on that later). They won’t be quite so lucky in Green Bay. Winner: Packers
Titans at Texans
If you believe everything the experts are saying, then Tennessee proved last week that their defence is straightened out after last year’s horrific performance. I say, “Have you seen Pittsburgh’s offence?” Let’s just say that the Titans, to use a boxing metaphor, are stepping up in weight class. Houston won its opener, but looked unimpressive in doing so. Their vaunted defence got shredded by Phillip Rivers early, but stiffened in the second half to allow the Texans’ comeback. Houston needs a solid effort on both sides of the ball this week. I think they learned a valuable lesson against the Chargers. Winner: Texans
Cowboys at Chiefs
Kansas City did last week exactly what a team that wants to be taken seriously needs to do: they beat the shit out of a bad team. Now they host a Dallas team coming off an emotional win over its nemesis New York Giants. Sure, the Cowboys scored a lot, but they had way too many chances due to the Giants’ early ineptitude, and they still had to hang on at the end for a close win. If they’re expecting the Chiefs to just hand them a bunch of extra possessions like New York did, they’re in for a rude awakening. Winner: Chiefs
Vikings at Bears
Minnesota looked better than they are last week, but only because they played the poster boys for imbecility. Chicago won’t give them nearly as much mercy. Winner: Bears
Chargers at Eagles
Well, I watched the new Philly offence in action on Monday night, and all I can say is, “Holy shit!” They were bold, fast, innovative. Their defence faded at the end because the pace of the offence kept sending the defence back onto the field, and thus allowing Washington to mount a rally. Call the whole Chipmouse Kelly experiment a work in progress; it’s one that I will definitely watch. This week, Philip Rivers gets to see what it’s like on the other side of an early lopsided score. He could throw for 400 yards in the second half during his comeback.
I am. Winner: Eagles
For you, Vince Dolphins at Colts
Look out Andrew Luck; Miami’s pass rush is coming. I’m tempted to pick an upset here, and it’s my column, so what the hell. Winner: Dolphins
Lions at Cardinals
Stupid head coach. Stupid defensive coordinator. Stupid players (one of whom, I believe may be legitimately mentally unbalanced and dangerous). Is it possible for the league to suspend a whole team? Of course, then Uncle Roger would have to suspend himself for allowing things to get this bad. At any rate, there’s a game to be played. As I predicted, new Cards QB wasted no time getting the ball to Larry Fitzgerald, and the Cards actually showed some life on offence. Oddly enough, it was their defence that blew it. Palmer should be able to make a few plays against Detroit’s stinky secondary, but he’ll be running for his life against the Lions’ front four. Perhaps literally. Winner: Lions
Saints at Buccaneers
In my Thursday column, I touched on the Bucs’ soap opera. Right on cue, here come the Saints. Getting blown out at home should raise the panic level in Tampa to 11. Winner: Saints
Jaguars at Raiders
Newly anointed Raiders starting QB Terrelle Pryor has some skills. The Raiders put a hell of a fright into Indy last week. Pryor looked spectacular at times. After the game, he said he was disappointed in himself. I like this kid. Oh, and to no one’s surprise, the Jags are terrible, but at least this week, they will experience an upgrade at QB from terrible (Blaine Gabbert) to just good enough to still get you beaten (Chad Henne). Winner: Raiders
Broncos at Giants
Apparently, there’s a Peyton Manning-inspired strain of marijuana. This begs the question, “Does one smoke it in a Manning Bowl?” Now, if that’s not the best use of an overused title this week, then I’d like to know what is. The Giants had a severe case of the butterfingers last week (there’s another commercial opportunity, Elisha), and won’t be quite as bad this week. Unfortunately, New York doesn’t have enough on defence to stop Denver’s offensive juggernaut. Winner: Broncos
49ers at Seahawks
Bandwagons are funny things, aren’t they? Before last week, Seattle was in the conversation as best team in the league. Now, some experts are backtracking because they struggled against the Panthers. Seriously? No one’s going to blow out Carolina’s defence this season. Also, the Seahawks defence held Cam Newton’s offence to seven points. That’s impressive. This should be a great game. Two good offences. Two mobile QBs who can chuck it too. Two punishing running attacks. Two of the top defensive units in the league. Division rivals. Loudest barn. Genuine bad blood. Can’t wait for this one. Oh, and shut up, Harbaugh. Please, just shut the hell up. Winner: Seahawks
Monday Night
Steelers at Bengals
So, who’s playing offence for Pittsburgh besides Ben Roethlisberger? The Steelers disastrously lost C Maurkice Pouncy for the season. He’s not the only key part missing this week, either; among Pittsburgh’s losses, their best TE Heath Miller. The Bengals can’t be satisfied with just a win this week. They have to win decisively. A word of caution to Cincy’s defenders, though: when you’re sacking el Ben Grandé (and you had better be sacking him a lot), don’t let the big bastard fall on you. Winner: Bengals
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