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Week Three: The San Francisco Gleet

9/22/2013

 
It’s no secret: I can’t stand San Francisco 49ers’ Head Coach Jim Harbaugh.

I’ll give the man credit: he turned that team into a winner, after the disastrous tenure of previous head coach Mike Singletary, and was instrumental in saving QB Alex Smith’s career. He’s a really good football coach, when it comes to coaching football. Unfortunately, as a football coach, he’s a terrible human being. He’s a cheater, a liar, and, worst of all, he’s a hypocrite.

This week, star 49ers OLB Aldon Smith was arrested after he crashed his car, blew a 0.15, and was in possession of marijuana. At 7am! Questioned by reporters later in the day, Harbaugh said that he expected that Smith would play on Sunday. Last season, special-teamer Demarcus Dobbs, (not a starter or star) was arrested for a DUI and the 49ers did not allow him to travel with them to their next game. When asked about this double-standard, Harbaugh gave a lame excuse, then clammed up. He even had the nerve to play dumb when asked about the possession charge.

This is classic Harbaugh. Some of his other transgressions:

Earlier this year, Harbaugh, champion of fair play, admonished other teams and players to “Play by the rules.” This, from the same guy who blatantly cheated in a game against the Vikings last season, not once, but twice.

Harbaugh complained incessantly at the beginning of the season about the rule that read-option QBs could be hit, then watched as his defence took shots at Seahawks QB Russell Wilson when Wilson was in that formation.

Harbaugh complains constantly about cheap shots, like the one Packers LB Clay Matthews took at Colin Kaepernick in week one, but says nothing about the fact that his own players have been fined for personal fouls after both of this season’s games.

Harbaugh also like to trash talk. He chided Matthews for being a phony tough guy. Put on some pads, old man. Just don’t let a little noise get to you.
PictureHeat: Who's hungry?
Chargers at Titans

Phillip Rivers has surprised me in the first two games, lighting up the Texans (impressive) and the Eagles (not so much, but still…). I’m still not completely sold on Tennessee’s defensive revival, but they have looked better this season, and it’ll be interesting to see how they handle a revitalized Rivers. San Diego’s offence is just a bit too much here. Winner: Chargers

Cardinals at Saints

Nice to see Arizona actually scoring points again; they’ve been in both of their games thus far, losing then winning in close contests. Playing the Saints in the Big Easy won’t be quite as easy, though. New Orleans’ offence is as steady as ever, and the defence has been decent so far. Winner: Saints

Packers at Bengals

Are Bengals fans starting to worry about Andy Dalton? I know I expected better from him against the Steelers last Monday night. Sure, Cincy won, but Dalton looked tentative at times, and he was often off-target on throws he should be making. I like the way the Bengals defence matches up against Aaron Rodgers and the Green Bay offence; Cincy has depth and talent up front to pressure Rodgers and slow down any attempts to run the ball. I just can’t pick against Rodgers. Winner: Packers

Browns at Vikings

There’s been lot of talk about Cleveland trading RB Trent Richardson this week, arguably their best skill player on offence. Oddly enough, that doesn’t change my pick. The Vikings should handle this one easily. Winner: Vikings

Rams at Cowboys

St. Louis has the pass rush to make Tony Romo a very worried boy this week, and we all know what happens when Romo feels the heat, right? Winner: Rams

Picture
Texans at Ravens

Texans fans: another extremely stressed-out crew right now. Pegged as possible Super Bowl contenders, Houston has just barely been able to squeak out two wins, as their offence has struggled. Baltimore may not be the team they were last season, but they are proud, angry, and they are at home. I know it’s only week 3, but it’s time the Texans stepped up. Winner: Texans

Giants at Panthers

Who to pick here; my mind reels at the possibilities. Eli’s got the receivers he needs to put up good numbers, and New York’s pass rush is playing itself back into shape after some injuries. Still, their secondary is thin, the running game is in stasis, and they’ve been a turnover machine in the first two weeks. The Panthers have a solid defence, and the offence looks good on paper, but they have the worst coach in the league, Ron Rivera, who seems adept only at finding new and more heartbreaking ways to lose. I’d just settle for a clean, competently played and coached game here. Winner: Panthers

Lions at Washington

Those idiotic Lions lost to Arizona last week, and it looked good on them. This week, they travel to a location near the nation’s capital (where the Detroit franchise has never won, according to every sports journalist in North America, as if it mattered) to face a Washington team that has not looked very good thus far. The Lions will be without RB Reggie Bush this week (funny, but they were without him all last season, and I don’t remember the offence struggling too much), but Washington hasn’t shown much ability to stop anyone. RGIII continues to struggle in his attempt to come back from his career-ending (that’s right, I said it) knee injury. Bad enough that he isn’t as mobile, but his passing accuracy, superb last season, has gone in the shitter. One thing the Lions do well on defence is get after the QB. Will Suh grab the dreads? Nothing would surprise me. Winner: Lions

Buccaneers at Patriots

Tampa Bay is still a team in turmoil. Travelling to Foxborough to play the Pats defence is hardly a remedy for what ails the Bucs’ offence. Tom Brady continues to try to find dependable hands among his receiving corps. He’s looked good between the lines, but he looks like he’s losing patience. He probably feels the Dolphins nipping at his heels. Winner: Patriots

Falcons at Dolphins

I never saw Miami at 2-0, but after seeing their defence in action in week one, I picked them to upset the Colts last week. They certainly are getting Atlanta at an opportune time. Newly acquired RB Steven Jackson is injured, as are key contributors in the WR, LB, and OL corps. The Falcons should be particularly concerned about injuries on the offensive line, as the Dolphins’ pass rush is formidable. Matt Ryan under pressure spells good news for Miami’s opportunistic DBs. Winner: Dolphins


PictureShowing his soft, romantic side
Jaguars at Seahawks

The Jags, one of the two or three worst team in the league, on the road in the noisiest stadium in the league, against a team that just dominated last year’s Super Bowl runner-up (I watched the whole thing, and Harbaugh’s agony was delicious). What more need be said? Winner: Seahawks

Colts at 49ers

I might be tempted to give Andrew Luck a shot in this one if San Fran had decided to bench Aldon Smith, or if the league had stepped in. In reality, the Colts don’t have nearly enough talent on defence to stop the ‘niners, and Luck, who gets hit way more than he should against most teams, is in serious trouble this week. (Aside: Imagine you’re a Colts OL who has (or knows someone who has) experienced an intense personal tragedy a the result of a drunk driver. You have a chance to cut or crack back on Aldon Smith. Are you tempted to go for his knees?) Winner: 49ers

Bills at Jets

I’m picking the Bills because I like their rookie QB EJ Manuel, and the Bills offence, much better than Jets rookie QB Geno Smith and his cohorts. Buffalo just has more talent at the skill positions. The Jets have looked better than they are against a messed-up Tampa team and in a soggy, sloppy, drop-fest against New England. Winner: Bills

Bears at Steelers

These are the types of games Chicago has to win. Sure, the Steelers are at home, but they are a mere shadow of a great team. The Bears’ defence should be able to limit the struggling Steelers more than enough for Jay Cutler and Co. to operate comfortably. Winner: Bears

Monday Night

Raiders at Broncos

Love Raiders QB Terrelle Pryor, and RB Darren McFadden is showing signs of life again. Still, the Broncos are on a roll, and they’ll keep right on rolling for now. Winner: Broncos


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    I'm George. What else can I say?

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