I would be remiss if I started this week’s picks without mentioning that I was wrong about my Thursday pick of the Bengals over the Dolphins. Dolphins’ fans the world over rejoiced:
(Above: Wes Welker, plays a mean mandolin)
Years ago, some friends of mine and I often wondered why, when there have been so many signature celebrations in the NFL, no one has ever broken out “The Safety Dance” after recording a safety. In a league where players routinely leap into the stands, kiss their biceps, mime home run swings, and even dance like Pee Wee Herman, it’s high time for “The Safety Dance” to make an appearance. If any player does it, I will instantly become his number one fan.
Chargers at Washington
Washington’s offence has shown some signs of life in recent weeks, but even Denver’s defence was able to stiffen against RGIII and Co. in the 4th quarter last week. I doubt Washington can keep pace with the Chargers. Winner: Chargers
Falcons at Panthers
An interesting matchup of division rivals going in opposite directions; the Panthers are on a roll now that they have adopted a more aggressive attitude on offence to match their defence, while the Falcons are in the middle of a nightmare campaign, their high expectations lost in a morass of injuries. Winner: Panthers
Saints at Jets
Even if the Jets’ destruction last week at the hands of the Bengals was an aberration, they will still be hard-pressed to keep pace with this New Orleans offence. Winner: Saints
Chiefs at Bills
Buffalo’s defence is tough, but their offence will have a tough time against KC’s D, especially without Thad Lewis at QB. Winner: Chiefs
Titans at Rams
It seems to me that lately, when the AFC playoff picture has been discussed, the Titans have been overlooked. When I look at the way they’ve played, particularly when Jake Locker is behind centre, as well as at their remaining schedule, they look like, minimum, a 9-win team. I good thumping of the Rams this week might get people to take some notice. Winner: Titans
Vikings at Cowboys
OK, Cowboys. You’ve been down this road many times before. Time to shake off yet another heartbreak and get back to business. You have to make the playoffs so that you can crush your fans again. Winner: Cowboys
Eagles at Raiders
Philly’s offence has evaporated. Denizens of The Black Hole must be loving Terrelle Pryor by now. I know I am. Winner: Raiders
Buccaneers at Seahawks
Bad Bucs. Twelfth Man. How much? Winner: Seahawks
Steelers at Patriots
Two QBs with five rings between them, whose teams have seen better days. Pittsburgh will give them all they can handle, but New England should prevail, based on its superior running game. Winner: Patriots
Ravens at Browns
This looks like a tricky one to call, with the lacklustre Ravens playing on the road against a tough Cleveland defence. I just don’t think the Browns’ offence is good enough to pull this one out. Winner: Ravens
Colts at Texans
When last we saw the Colts, they were celebrating yet another decisive win against one of the league’s top teams (Denver), and heading into their bye with the enormous challenge of moving on without top receiver Reggie Wayne. I think they’ll be fine. They are well-coached, play excellent defence, and have the superb Andrew Luck behind centre. Houston? What the hell happened? Winner: Colts
Monday Night
Bears at Packers
Here are the facts: Aaron Rodgers, plus Eddie Lacy and the Packers’ vastly improved running game, against a Bears team with a defence that gives up a lot of points, and without Jay Cutler to answer back on the scoreboard. This could get ugly. Winner: Packers
Years ago, some friends of mine and I often wondered why, when there have been so many signature celebrations in the NFL, no one has ever broken out “The Safety Dance” after recording a safety. In a league where players routinely leap into the stands, kiss their biceps, mime home run swings, and even dance like Pee Wee Herman, it’s high time for “The Safety Dance” to make an appearance. If any player does it, I will instantly become his number one fan.
Chargers at Washington
Washington’s offence has shown some signs of life in recent weeks, but even Denver’s defence was able to stiffen against RGIII and Co. in the 4th quarter last week. I doubt Washington can keep pace with the Chargers. Winner: Chargers
Falcons at Panthers
An interesting matchup of division rivals going in opposite directions; the Panthers are on a roll now that they have adopted a more aggressive attitude on offence to match their defence, while the Falcons are in the middle of a nightmare campaign, their high expectations lost in a morass of injuries. Winner: Panthers
Saints at Jets
Even if the Jets’ destruction last week at the hands of the Bengals was an aberration, they will still be hard-pressed to keep pace with this New Orleans offence. Winner: Saints
Chiefs at Bills
Buffalo’s defence is tough, but their offence will have a tough time against KC’s D, especially without Thad Lewis at QB. Winner: Chiefs
Titans at Rams
It seems to me that lately, when the AFC playoff picture has been discussed, the Titans have been overlooked. When I look at the way they’ve played, particularly when Jake Locker is behind centre, as well as at their remaining schedule, they look like, minimum, a 9-win team. I good thumping of the Rams this week might get people to take some notice. Winner: Titans
Vikings at Cowboys
OK, Cowboys. You’ve been down this road many times before. Time to shake off yet another heartbreak and get back to business. You have to make the playoffs so that you can crush your fans again. Winner: Cowboys
Eagles at Raiders
Philly’s offence has evaporated. Denizens of The Black Hole must be loving Terrelle Pryor by now. I know I am. Winner: Raiders
Buccaneers at Seahawks
Bad Bucs. Twelfth Man. How much? Winner: Seahawks
Steelers at Patriots
Two QBs with five rings between them, whose teams have seen better days. Pittsburgh will give them all they can handle, but New England should prevail, based on its superior running game. Winner: Patriots
Ravens at Browns
This looks like a tricky one to call, with the lacklustre Ravens playing on the road against a tough Cleveland defence. I just don’t think the Browns’ offence is good enough to pull this one out. Winner: Ravens
Colts at Texans
When last we saw the Colts, they were celebrating yet another decisive win against one of the league’s top teams (Denver), and heading into their bye with the enormous challenge of moving on without top receiver Reggie Wayne. I think they’ll be fine. They are well-coached, play excellent defence, and have the superb Andrew Luck behind centre. Houston? What the hell happened? Winner: Colts
Monday Night
Bears at Packers
Here are the facts: Aaron Rodgers, plus Eddie Lacy and the Packers’ vastly improved running game, against a Bears team with a defence that gives up a lot of points, and without Jay Cutler to answer back on the scoreboard. This could get ugly. Winner: Packers
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