Every girl dreams of being a princess, living in a castle, and living happily ever after.  I once was a princess.  I was my father's princess.  He loved me so much I have no doubt of that, I just need to look at the pictures, you can see his love all over his face.There are a few things in a girls life that makes you feel this way;  the love from your mother, the love from your father and the belief that you deserve something greater.  Of course the first two lay the foundation for the last.

For some, they have distant relationships with their parents, sort of an irreconcilable difference. For others, they are as close as any family could be. For myself, I have had forced distance between my father and I.  There was really nothing that we could do about the distance, it was just a fact that my Dad was diagnosed with a brain tumour.  Cancer is a fickle whore; she waltzes in and takes away everything that you have and all that you could be.  She gives you hope that she is going away only to come back with a vengeance and ruin everything.  She misleads and baffles doctors.  She destroys families and makes her victim only a shadow of their former self.  Have you seen the face of death?  The face I am referring to is the face of the person who has given everything of themselves both physically and mentally, and when you look at them, you see this: they have absolutely nothing left to give.  There is something about their face; it's chilling.

The closer I get to the age of when he was diagnosed, the more I have come to realize how awful it was to lose someone so young.  He passed away at the age of forty.  He was diagnosed when he was thirty-eight.  He had a wife, three children, a steady career, a house and a undeniable love for everything living.  It makes sense to me why some people in my life and family would expect nothing but the worst things to happen all the time; after all, look what happened to my father.   Just when you think life is going fantastical,  something happens which not only challenges your faith, but challenges everyone's faith.  It makes you wonder.

I miss him.  I miss the Dad that I remember, I miss the Dad that I never knew, and I miss the Dad and Grandfather that he would have been.  A lot of my life, I have been searching for answers to why I am the way that I am.  How did I end up so different than the rest of my family?  Why was I an outcast?  

I have those answers now.  There are many things in my life that I am completely aware of and one of these is why I am so different.  I never viewed life as anything else than a blessing.  The profound affect of my father dying caused me to see things so differently.  It sort of turned off my empathy button for people who do not understand that their lives are absolute blessings.  To those who would rather focus on material things and not helping others;  the world needs you. I know how fear works, but I also understand that when you are alone you are only one, but together we are a force.  There is so much change that is needed, oh so much change.

Let me turn this around, I don't call these happy blogs for no reason, I call them that because sometimes in life you need to look at the ugly, hurtful past to realize the present. After all, how can you truly understand what a blessing is if you have no basis to compare.  My father passed away, which of course was a terribly sad time.  His pathway of life was abruptly stopped, but the rest of his family had to continue living. So we did.  It was a bit rocky at first, kind of like learning to walk all over again.  Things were not the same.  As a matter of fact, things were WAY different.  It was like living in a house that had the foundation ripped out of it while you are still in it.  A little hectic.

However, even through the rubble, tragedy and pain, beautiful roses can grow.  Don't believe me?  Look at any walkway or driveway; you might get pissed at the crack in your walkway/driveway, you may get even more angry at the weed growing, but even with all that you do, life still continues on.  

Life continues on.  Keep the memories of your loved ones, not only as reminders as to who they were and why they are special to you, but as a reminder of their light and let their light lead you.

As Always,

Through thick and Thin...

Happy Does It :o)

Over the past few months, to say that I have not been myself would be a complete understatement.  I find it funny how someone who loves life can go so far off track so easily.  I have the ability to speak what I believe, but practicing what I speak of is not an easy task.  Unfortunately, when this happens, I find myself trekking back to where it is and always was comfortable: the defeatist.  The “why bother”, becomes very prominent in my speech, and it really becomes a little dark cloud.

So let me update, just a little, as to why I have not been myself. Only one word can completely describe what is going on: overwhelmed.  I am completely overwhelmed.  So many things seemed to happen in the last three and a half months that I have not caught up with, both emotionally and mentally.  I am not sure what you do when you are in this position, but I become a child.  I get angry and tired.  I become more and more frustrated (where my anger stems from), and everything I see is wrong.  This tireless circular motion of being unable to control my life just completely engulfs me.  It swallows me whole. 

It makes me sad because I know that this is not who I am, but it is the easiest place for me to go.  I lived there for so long, that it is comfortable.  For the past few years, I have finally come to realize that this is not where I belong.  I am not an angry person, I love with all of my heart and I see the good in all people, even those people who are unable to see it in themselves.  I will make you smile, because I know that one thing that you don’t know, that you and I are a lot more alike than different.  If you choose to believe that you are a chosen one, you are not seeing everything around you.

So here I am, writing again.  This is something that I love to do.  It does make me feel joy.  It is my way of verbalizing what I am thinking without the ‘live’ audience.  Plus it gives you the benefit of reading it, agreeing with it, or disagreeing with it, in your private little way.  I’d like to feel that my sharing with you helps you on your journey, knowing that perhaps out there somewhere, someone else feels the exact same way that I do.

I like breaking down barriers.  I like being able to expose people for who they really are because I know in my heart that somewhere down the line, someone told you that you were not good enough, that you were not valuable, and that you are worthless.  I just want you to know, that you are not the only one who has heard that once or twice (or even more than that in my case), and unfortunately you will not be the last.  Words can hurt, but only if you believe them.  If you give someone that power to hurt you, they will hurt you.  Perhaps not intentionally, but eventually, something that they say or do will hurt your feelings of self.  So when you give away your power, make sure you choose wisely. 

So, how do I get back to me?  How do I get myself out of this slump that I am in, and how do I feel better?  Well, I have discovered that the first thing that I am doing is changing my diet.  Crap going in means crap coming out.  I need to make that conscious decision to make myself a priority.  I am tired and my body isn’t being fed properly.  So my body and brain is telling me that I suck, because I really do. I am not taking care of myself.  I am not ‘treating my body like a temple,’ more like a convenience store.  I tend to take the easy way, not being lazy, just ‘don’t have the time.’  So the change is now, and is happening now.  Yesterday, at work, I resisted a cream cheese covered carrot cake; that for me is power.  Trust me it was really difficult, but I decided I am doing this all in, no exceptions.  I cannot make exceptions so early in this journey; because I need to get in a routine that eating healthy is the routine and unhealthy habits is the exception, not the norm.   What is that saying: ‘eat to live, not live to eat.’  I do love food.  I love texture and taste, so eating healthy is not going to be the easiest thing (Any suggestions or healthy recipes would be greatly appreciated).  With healthy eating, I have also incorporated, albeit slowly, exercise.  I know some of my former co-workers would love this fact.  George and I have tried Zumba, and well, although neither one of us is great at it (yet), we are having fun, which for me is half the battle.  It also helps that the class is made up of over 60 people and they come in all shapes and sizes.  The enthusiasm of the instructor is contagious. I recommend Zumba to anyone who just loves to dance and have fun.

First part on the way back is under way.  The next part is the mind.  Well, I have a plan for the as well.  Starting today, I am going to have a daily happy posted on my website.  It will be comprised of just little things that made me smile that day.  I have to focus on things that make me happy, I have to not focus on everything that is going 'wrong,’ or I will get trapped in that vicious cycle again.  I am refusing to let that happen.  Plus a little therapy never hurt anyone.

I think that this is a great start.  I truly believe that when you get yourself back into balance, then your soul or spirit will raise up again.  My spirituality is strong.  I think that is one of the reasons why I am unable to get consumed by the anger and hate.  I recognise that something is out of whack, and I change my focus.  It also helps that I am highly intelligent (yeah I said that, I need to recognize).

One step at a time…

As always,

Happy Does It! :o)

Here is the idea: How do you get people to understand that love and compassion are two things that we all could use a little more of in our lives?  We are all capable of beautiful things but we lack the conviction to follow through with doing what is right. We are guilty of turning our backs sometimes, none of us are sainted

This week there were several stories posted online and on the news about how people came together to help an animal in need.  One story was about this little boy who had a service dog that was dying and he created a Facebook page with his dog's bucket list.  People from all over the world sent money and treats to this young fellow to help his dog in her final days.  The boy and his family donated most of the stuff to the local shelter to help other dogs in need.  Another story was about a group of people who got together to save a dog that was stuck on a cliff. Such beautiful tales of the love and compassion that complete strangers can have for animals, in these cases dogs, without regard for anything else except the well-being of those animals.

I am a dog lover. I think that they are awesome animals to have as pets, and if raised properly, they are fantastic companions.  I am prefacing this with that statement because I want people to know that I do love animals.  I also have a great respect for animals and I am keenly aware that they are animals and they have instinctual actions that may be contradictory to how we think they are supposed to behave.  For example, my mother has this beautiful Rottweiler/Rhodesian Ridgeback dog, who is, I must say, the most passive dog I have ever had the pleasure to know.  Although she is a very large dog, she is just super-gentle.  A few weeks ago, she had surgery on her knee, and I attempted to take her outside to do her business. She didn’t want to go, and I could tell that she wasn’t very happy with my trying to take her out. Out of respect for her, I took her back in the house, and gave her a little space.  She is well-behaved; she could have snapped at me, but she didn’t, she just gave me a sign, a small one, but I saw and obeyed her decision.

Here is a question: If we have so much compassion for animals, to go out of our way to save them, then why can we not have the same compassion for a person in need, broken and bruised, physically and mentally?  Why are we so dismissive of these people as if we are better than them?  They should have known better right?  We are better than them right?  We got our shit together, our problems are nothing like the problems that they have, god knows, we are so much better right?

If you think this way, that their problems are not your problems, then you're just as much a part of the problem because you are impeding the resolution. I am not saying that you have to run out and volunteer (although that would be extremely helpful) to help solve problems. I am just saying that you need to be actively partaking in your life and your life includes those people who are down and out. You never know how much of an effect that you have on someone until you start.  You need to start.  I say this over and over again, but the only way to make positive changes in your life is to live positively.  Do not make assumptions about people, because most of the time, hey let’s face it, they are wrong.  How many times have you said to yourself, "I didn’t think that person is like that/or likes that/or does that?"  It is human nature; it is instinctual for us to sum people up from the first encounter. The first impression is the lasting one, it is the be-all an end-all. To that I call bullshit.  People are not the sum of their first encounter. How many of us hold our cards back to make the best first encounter, to fit in, to feel accepted?  I do it.  I want people to like me and not judge me on certain facts about my life.  It doesn’t matter though; the moment people ask me if I have any children, and I talk about my children, I always get the same disapproval look followed by "...you don’t look old enough to have a child that old..." Thanks for that captain obvious! I don’t blame them. I am sure that if I was in their shoes I would act the same way. I guess meeting a person who had a child at a young age is rare. Again, I call bullshit.  People have been having babies at young ages since the dawn of human civilization, I am just, you could say, old school.

So now I come to the part that I absolutely enjoy talking about: love.  Love is the great glue that holds people together when distances keep them apart.  Whether the distance is loss, or whether it is physical distance or the real distance of misunderstanding, love holds it all together.  It is the great conqueror. 

Imagine if we all had a little more love and compassion for everyone, as well as some much-needed understanding.  Imagine if you could show and share your knowledge with someone who, with that little piece of knowledge might finally have the piece of that puzzle that would move them to the next level in their lives.  My daughter told me a story about last night (another reason I know she is going to be okay), about how a few people at this party she attended started talking and gossiping about another person who wasn’t, there.  How did my child respond to this? She defended this person and disagreed with what they were saying, and for all the negative that they were saying, she countered with positive.  You know what happens when enough positive counteracts negative? The positive will neutralize the negative.  She was worried that they would think less of her, but I told her that she defended someone, and if nothing else she caused them to pause.  I have always told my child that someone that likes to gossip about other people have low self-confidence and low self-esteem, and you should feel sad for them that they feel better about themselves by making others seem worse than them.  How can I say this? I have been one of these people, who did the gossiping, so I am speaking from experience, nothing more nothing less.

So, let’s break the pattern, the pattern of dispassionate people who do not have love in their hearts.  Let’s show them love, let’s show them compassion.  I am not saying run around like an insane hugging machine and hug everyone that you see. I am saying look around and tell someone that you perhaps work with that you appreciate what they do, and that they are doing a good job.  Recognize and see others. That is how you show compassion for your fellow people.  Loving your family and friends is how you show love, because if you live in love and live with love in your heart, you will be love when dealing with other people.  We cannot be anything else.  Open your eyes and your heart, live happy, be happy.  Compassion is love. Love is Happy. Happy Does It!  It moves those slow cogs in your life into a different realm.

Happy Does It! :o)

Anyone who has read any of the blogs that I write would be well aware that my daughter went away to university four weeks ago.  She has been, throughout my life, my saving grace, my angel.  She is without a doubt the most important person in the world to me. Nothing else in this world compares to her.  We have been through a lot together, a lot of happiness and tears.  She is my pride and joy, and she is proof that something good can come from a bad situation.  Her sunny disposition has lit up the lives of many people who were in very dark places.  What a little lady that I had a hand in helping along the way.  There is not a person out there that could say a bad thing about her; she is just so nice and thoughtful.

So, she has started her journey on finding out who she is, and by her choice she decided to go to a university that not only has a wonderful music program but is cost-effective as well.  The downside is that she is a distance away from her family.  When George and I talked to her about her apprehension about going so far away, our only focus was on her and what is best for her.  I have to be honest, I didn't know how well she would do, being so far away for an extended period of time.  The longest that she has been away from me was two weeks when she was really young.

So, the day came, that day when I had to leave her to start her new journey, and I’ll be honest it didn’t look that good.  There were a few hiccups along the way that could have been done beforehand that weren’t done. It wasn’t looking good.  I was actually joking around with her (I know what I was doing was annoying her) and saying things like (because it wasn’t only her, there was a huge line up of first year students in the same situation), "I bet every parent here is thinking the same way that I am right now, wondering why we have so much technology, that you use every day, but you didn’t manage to do this one thing."  She knew I was right, but it was her first day, and I was being a pain in the behind.

So the time came, George and I moved all of her stuff into her apartment and it was finally time to say our good-byes.  I held her and we cried together.  This was our moment to let go just a little to one another and it was a moment for me to let her be who she is meant to be.  Sure it hurt, and I was extremely worried, but I had to have faith in the teaching that I have done over her eighteen years.  I had to have faith in myself that I have raised a responsible young woman who will be able to make it on her own.

Unless you have gone through this, you wouldn’t understand how difficult it is to have faith in yourself.  When she was young, I was young, and I had to go by the only thing that I have known, which is how to love.  I needed to let her know that she is special and that I love her and believe in her.  However unsure I was of myself, I needed to ingrain in my child that she is loved and that she is worthy of love.  I needed to let her be okay with making mistakes, and I needed her to pick herself up again after making mistakes.  I wanted her to understand that things/objects are not more important than peoples’ feelings.  I didn’t have anything to offer, but I gave her my everything.  So on this day, I had to believe in myself that I am and have been good enough to let her do this on her own. Again, it goes back to that thing that inhibits us all the time, the ego. 

Before this day, I was joking with my co-workers, saying that if you hear this wailing on the 2nd of September that would be me, travelling back from dropping her off.  I was actually terrified; I made myself sick from stressing myself out so much.  On that day, the drive back, I can honestly say, I cried, but not because I was leaving her behind, but because I felt this freedom that I haven’t felt in a long time.  I didn’t know what to do; I was almost hysterical but not quite.  I looked at my life, you know looking back at your life, and I really got to see and understand everything that I had to sacrifice in order for that moment to occur.  That moment overwhelmed me, but it let me see something that I was quite unaware of, that now, after all of this, I am able to focus on me.  I can still be her mother, I can still love her with all of my heart, but this is my time. 

Most people do things a lot different than I did.  They go through high school; go to college, live it up, meet someone, get married and then have children.  Or some of you went through high school, met someone, got married and had children.  Or you met someone, had children and then got married. Oh yeah and somewhere in there you found a career.  Very few of you took the road that I did; most of you wouldn’t or couldn’t do what I have done.  That doesn’t make me special; it is just a difference, that is all.  I always wondered what it would have been like if my road would have been different, but I cannot think that way because I have the best life that I could ask for. 

So now what? In what direction am I supposed to go when everything that I knew, the only direction that I have been travelling, has come to an impasse?  Do you know how strange it feels to have one purpose in your life be fulfilled at a young age?  Now all I am is just an advice-giver, and a supporter of my child. That is the new role that I have to play.

So, you may wonder what the heck I was thinking when I chose the title for this blog.  Well that is just it; I wasn’t thinking too much. I just knew that I would be talking about my recent adventure with my life, and it basically describes how I feel.  I am curious about where this life will lead me, and the dark part, or night, is the fear of the unknown, but the dark/night never scared me.

I am focused.  I know where I would like to be in five years, and I know who I would like to become.  I am thirty-five years old, a woman with dreams, and the desire and passion to do what makes me happy.  I have had a lot of rough spots and I am not going to lie, I am not out of the rough spot quite yet, but I always have faith that my true destiny has been shown to me, and I do not want to let that slip out of my reach.  There is a place in this world for me, a spot for what I can do, and how I can affect positive change, in my life, my family life, as well as in others lives.  There is a light and I am willing to follow the light down the curious road in the dark of the night.  I always say that life in an adventure, it is meant for living and is meant for the living. Take hold and live!

As Always,

Happy Does It!

For the past few months, I have been doing a lot of thinking.  I have been allowing my mind to wander to places that it hasn’t gone in a long time.  It is not surprising how the way that you are living your life truly affects everything around you.  I recently decided to change jobs.  My decision for this is one of impulse and not of much thought, but it is a decision that will inevitably change my life.  You see, I love my job. I love the job that I was hired to do.  Unfortunately when companies need to save money and reduce spending, management is put in very tight positions, and sometimes management will make rash and irresponsible decisions, decisions that affect everyone, and place more work with less time, without adjusting human resources stress will be high, and staff morale will decrease.  This is what happened to my position, but I cannot say that I didn’t see it coming.  After all, when you create a position that suits the needs of a facility, by combining three positions, but you do not forecast problems which may occur in the future, you will be left with a high rate of turnover or disgruntled employees.  I can actually say I understand business, because that is what I went to school to do.  I also studied management so I understand how to properly utilise human resources.  I am saying this because I want you to know that I am not just pulling this out of thin air.

When stress seems to be invading my inner space, the first thing that I do is leave.  I physically leave the situation to allow myself time to re-evaluate what factors are causing me the most stress and how can I effectively change my current situation to better suit my needs.  It sounds very technical, but for the most part, I run away. 

Recently, I went down to Cape Breton to clear my head.  I did the things that I love to do like gardening and visiting with people who enrich my life, but I still couldn’t find my pathway.  I was lost and still wandering.   Stress consumes a person like a snake swallowing a mouse.  Every part of everything that I was trying to alleviate was completely ineffective because my mind, although I believe was clear, was full. Full of anger and animosity, confusion and misgivings of how things are.  I am a trusting person, to a fault, naive, but I do not apologize for this.  My husband loves this about me.  He has told me that I am like this and it is one of the most charming traits that I have.   I always see the good in people, and I expect people to be good in general.  Maybe this is a starry eyed approach, but it is truly who I am.

So let’s talk about stress reduction.  Before, in my early years of my life, the only way I knew of to relieve stress was to literally explode.  My temper would flare up and I would become a human volcano, and whoever was on the receiving end of what was, essentially, my temper tantrum, well, it sucked to be them.  After said explosions, I would feel fantastic but at the expense of someone else.  This method, although in appearance seemed to be effective, never addressed any underlying issues, so the next explosions would be great, and quite a lot worse.  I had a lot of anger.  What does anger do to one’s soul?  Well, it rots it away.  The person that you long to be is hidden behind darkness and all that is visible in this world is negative.  EVERY movement, EVERY spoken word, EVERY person is out to get you; this is the world that you see.   It is only when you snap out of this unseeing, negative state of mind, that you are better able to see the true world around you. When you get to that point you can start the healing process of going from angry to content to happy.  Understand, when you are a happy person, it does not mean that you are happy all the time, but it means that this life that you have is enough.

I like meditation.  Not the traditional meditation of crossing your legs and controlling your breathing, but it is something like that.  I like being outside and breathing in the air.  My mind will still and all the moving pieces inside will slow.  I notice things.  I will see and hear the birds and eavesdrop in on their conversations.   There may be one in a tree and another in a nest. You can always tell which one of the birds is the female; she is usually the one giving the orders to the male bird. Noticing my environment allows me to recognise that, no matter what I do, life will always carry on with or without me.  So, why not enjoy life becoming a part of something instead of fighting with it all.

Calming my thoughts to the rhythm of the outside world enables me to find the peace and solace I need to refocus on what in the world is the most important to me; my husband and my children.   When I become overwhelmed with other factors, like bills and such, I still take a step back.  I cannot allow this to cause me to drown, and become something that I am not meant to be. 

Laughter is the best medicine.  Try it once and a while.  When you are annoyed and irritated by let’s say you significant other or children, start making fun of yourself.  Emotions are a great and reliable guage, but sometimes they complicate simple things and inevitably blow things out of proportion.  So, for example, George and I got into a fight the other day (stress does this), out of the blue, something in my head, after all of the arguing, made fun of my foolishness.  I am not saying that I do not have a right to be upset, but in this particular case, I was being ridiculous.  Being married is not an easy thing.  You need to work at it every day. It is especially not easy for two bull-headed idiots like George and me. 

So laugh.  I do.  It is nice to hear.  It is a nice feeling, unless you are like me. I love to laugh but if I laugh too hard or too long I will start to cough and then I can’t breathe.   Really though, it is only George that makes me laugh that hard, and it is usually something absolutely crazy, and imaginative.   Mairi used to tell this joke.  It to me wasn’t a very funny joke, but for her and Ashleen it was the BEST JOKE EVER!  I am going to share it with you.  It is a knock, knock joke.  They heard this joke on Zoboomafoo, when they were children.

“Knock, Knock”

“Who’s there?”

“Panther”

“Panther who?”

“Panther no panths, I’m going thwimming”

See, funny sure, but only for a moment.  Life is way too short to take too seriously.  The moment you learn to laugh at yourself and not take everything so seriously, you will reduce your stress level, increase your cognitive abilities and change your life overall.  

As Always,

Happy Does It!  :o)

You know, last night I was thinking. I was thinking about how fortunate I am to know who I am, and not to question it.  Recently, I had a birthday; nothing new, happens every year. But this one seemed to make me think a lot about my life's  situation.  It is funny how by getting older, we dream about things that we should have done.  In a moment's time, I have to think about how who I was is not who I am.  I am not defined by a particular time period, although they were great.  

So this time, for me, I am celebrating me.  It is something most people wouldn't think of doing, because  they have misgivings about how they would be perceived by talking about themselves and praising their accomplishments.  It is a true way for anyone to 'take stock' of everything that they have done but fail to realize how important it is, or how significant it was in determining who they are today.  So really, who am I?

For me, this is an easy question.  I am a person who has integrity.  I am a person who loves her family and is always willing to fight for them regardless of what happened.  I am a strong woman, who has been through difficult situations but never failed to persevere through each challenge.  I am an extremely sensitive woman who hurts easily.  I am a passionate woman.  I love laughing.  My favourite colour is orange, which apparently is a good colour to like.

I am a person who loves learning new things.  The unfortunate part of this is that when I learn something, perfecting it, I will become bored and I will stop doing whatever it is.  I am forever a girl scout, earning my badges and then walking away.  It is strange, but I don't feel bad about this impossible trait to have, but I actually relish in the quirkiness of it.  It is good that I am not afraid to learn new things, and because of this, I never feel inhibited. 

I love to dance.  I am not a great dancer; actually I probably look ridiculous, but I love it anyway.  I will put on any music and just dance on the spot.  I believe that it is the physicality of dancing that is so appealing to me.  The feeling of the beat and the movement of my body just brings out those great chemicals in my body.

I love singing.  I know that I have said this one before, but it is true.  Singing is part of who I am.  Some people cry when that have been hurt; I will sing.  When I am happy, I sing.  When I am bored, I will sing.  Now, don't listen too closely, because, although I have a beautiful voice, I am not the best at remembering lyrics.  George always tells me that I am a true singer and the words that I sing are those that are in my heart.  He and Ashleen both have told me that the way that I sing certain songs are better than the originals.  So I guess it can not be that bad.

I am a person who, unlike most, is pretty much an open book.  Although I have had a lot of personal failures and triumphs, I am one who believes that by speaking from experience and telling my story, it may help others when they face similar problems in similar situations.   It is always good to know that you are not alone.  Also, it kind of helps to know that your problems happen to everyone, we are all the same, just leading different lives.  

I am an active participant in life and I am an avid observer of life.  I notice everything.  When you come around me and you are in a different mood, I can feel and see this.  That is why I will always ask you if you are okay.  I truly want to know.  I care about a lot of people and I am a good judge of character.  I see things others do not take the time to notice.

I am not a gossip.  Being a person who was the victim of gossip, I vehemently despise gossip.  Like I have said before, if I have a problem with you, ask me, or I will tell you.  Keeping things bottled up is not a way that I ever want to live my life.  I used to be a gossip; it hurts people, and I will never be that person again.

So for now, for me, I am going to be happy to be me.  I am proud of all of the accomplishments that I have achieved so far.  I have this site for a reason, and it is to know that being happy is a state of mind and taking stock is always a good thing for anyone.  If you are ever feeling a little low, think about all the wonderful things that you have done, and reinforce within yourself how wonderful you are.  It is not an ego thing; it is giving yourself the confidence to be you.

As always,

Happy Does It!  :o)

  

I am not a quitter.  I have never, ever been a quitter.  In fact, to this day, I still smoke cigarettes occasionally, even though I know that they are bad for me, just so I will not force myself to do something against my nature and quit.  For those of you who don’t know me very well, that was, of course, a grand use of hyperbole.

Here is a piece of advice that I would like to bestow upon you:  when you are doing something and you are not getting the result that you expect to get, you can either accept the answer you found, search for something that may or may not happen, or you can change everything completely.  Confusing advice, right?  It is not really advice; it is more like a string of possibilities.  That is just my point.  If you are satisfied with life, then you will not have any of these problems.  You will forever be in the world and live within the limits of your life.  That is wonderful.  If this is you, I am so happy for you.  I really am.  You are blessed with the life that satisfies you and you are not longing for something else.  If you find yourself not being part of the blessed group of people I just discussed, then you are part of my group.  The group that is constantly changing scenery, attempting to find that one place where you are at peace.  The place where the noise lessens to a whisper and the stress level is nil to negative nil.  

I love to live.  That, for me, is what makes my life more worth living than anything else.  I am a firm believer that the living is in the journey, the love is the pathway, and my willingness to be strong is my guide.  I have had to make many, many, different and difficult decisions in my life.  Like, for example, making the decision to quit something, or stop doing something.  This, for me, is not an easy decision to make, because I am the most stubborn person you will ever meet.  I have been known to physically hurt myself because I refused to believe that I was not strong enough to do something.  I think this is also known as stupidity, but who needs to think of it that way?

There does come a time when you need to throw in the towel.  There may be many reasons why this is a great decision, but most importantly, it has to be right for you.  I had to make a very difficult decision just recently, and I know that it is the right decision because there is no regret or misgivings regarding the decision that I have made.  This is not a major thing for me, but it is difficult because I feel like I am letting myself down. But the reality of it is, I am actually saying to myself that enough is enough.  I need to realize that I need my time, and I need to use it wisely.

Enough is enough.  We hear these words, but most people choose not to act on them.  They will say it, perhaps in a conversation, but it is only those who believe it that will actually take those words and put them into action.  So many people are afraid of standing out, causing a stir, becoming someone like “the unsinkable (and memorable) Margaret (Molly) Brown.”  She was( for those who don’t know) a wealthy socialite who was on the Titanic, and who brought light to a dark situation and made the men of lifeboat #6 go back and look for survivors.   She refused to let things be as they were, and said in her mind, “Enough is enough,” and she brought forth an action that may have saved lives.  It is not being brave; it is having the ability to do what is right.  It is funny how she became well known for something that should be natural for us all, to help others.

Sometimes what life really comes down to is whether or not you choose the right path.  A lot of people look back at their lives and feel like they should have done something differently, but what they really need to understand is that the decisions that they made for themselves back then were the best decisions for them at that time.  I try not to live my life with regret.  I know that I am not the same person that I was back then. I often hear myself saying to myself, all the time, "If I only knew then what I know now."  Hey, I think that that is just the universe’s way of letting us know that we are all human, and we are all made to make mistakes.  We all need to make mistakes and we all need to have successes as well.   The key to being happy is living in just that way.  Breathing in the opportunities and recognizing the times when the white flag goes up and you have to surrender to the truth.  Being happy is being able to look at yourself in the mirror, everyday, knowing that you have done your very best for you.  You are the one that has the power to decide your own fate.  {No, let me correct that}  You are the one that has the power to choose your own fate.  If you choose to live happy, then you will try everyday to find that little piece of happy; that smile or cup of coffee, that favourite bakery with that sweet aroma of freshly baking bread, or that favourite book that always reminds you of some place that you have been or want to go to.  You live with the key.  You possess the key.  You have the key; it has been there all this time.  You are the only person who can truly make you happy.  You need to believe that you are able and deserve to be free.  You will see the world like I see it.  You will value life and treasure moments.  The more 'happy' you see and receive, the more you will want.  You will be a person who understands that life is a blessing, but it is not a pre-determined destiny.  Life is for the living, and living requires you to be active. 

As Always,

Happy Does It! :o)

I am going to post a poem that I read a long time ago, but it had a profound affect on my life.  It is actually quite funny because I never knew who wrote it until recently

I hope that you enjoy this one as much as I do.
Children Learn What They Live
By Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D.


If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.

Copyright © 1972 by Dorothy Law Nolte

As Always, 

Happy Does it!  :o)

It is a beautiful day today.  The sun is out and the air is crisp and clean.  The birds are finally returning and make a whole bunch of noise.  I am sitting down and having a hot cup of coffee, because that is what I like to do.  Although most would say that caffeine is not that good for you, I have been drinking coffee since I was small, so it is more a comfort drink than anything.

Spring is in the air, or at least it is melting its way back into our hearts and reminding us of the times that we share with friends and families during those wonderful hot summer nights.  We haven’t had much of a winter, and I never discount winter in Nova Scotia until at least May, but it just feels a little different this year.  While every other place in North America is getting bombarded with winter, we are just sitting pretty with a few storms, that melt away as quick as they come.  We have been fortunate this year. 

Have you ever noticed that we bring up the weather in the beginning of conversations to use them as ‘ice breakers’ to start conversations?  I love it.  I get a kick out of the fact that every time that I speak with my grandfather, I can talk for about fifteen minutes on the weather.  I become that impromptu meteorologist giving the play by plays of the weather, and my grandfather enjoys every minute of it. 

I am bringing up this tidbit of information because for me a BIG part of my life is that changing of the seasons.  When the outside changes, so does my frame of mind.  The springtime drags me back to childhood, and I am alright with that.  I think that no matter how old I get, when the sun starts to shine, in the spring time, my whole body and mind awaken.  Suddenly, I again, feel like I have so much to do, and I finally have the energy to do it again.  The wintertime, although I love that season as well, turns me into a bear causing me to hibernate.  I want to be alive, I love living.

Life is about living and is made for the living.  We are all just passengers on this great journey, you can choose to keep up the facade of what you think you ought to be, or you can just accept that you, alone, are beautiful in every way.

This is only going to be a short blog today, but I just thought I should say something.  I have a few other blogs in the works so keep tuned.

As always,

Happy Does It  :o)