When we are young, we begin our journey of life.  We meet people and make friends with these people.  They all have things in common with you, and you with them.  We may keep those friends while we continue to grow, but along the way we will meet more people and make more friends, other people with similar ideas and challenges that intrigue you.  In the near future, you date someone, and their friends now become your friends and vise versa.

We continue to grow.  You may go out into the workforce instead of continuing you education and there at work, more people, more friends.  OR perhaps you continue your education, again more people, more friends.

Your life's journey has now continued and you have met "the love of you life", you meet their family,his/her friends and again you have added to your "friends list."  You may have children, and now you become friends with their friends parents

We join groups or teams and meet people with similar interests, and again...more friends.

{You are probably at the point now and thinking, okay Jaime what's you point?  There is always something isn't there.}

Throughout my life, I have met some wonderful people.  Many of whom I am honoured to call my friends.  They all have things in common, but they also all carry their own unique traits and characteristics.  I love the ingeniousness of all of them and they don't even know how wonderful they truly are.  I could tell them, but even if I did, they wouldn't believe me(I have tried)

We meet so many people 'friends'along the way, but only a few make it into our top ten.  It is like you are auditioning people for your own personal people's choice award, and only a few will win.  Years ago I referred to them, my friends, in a previous blog as diamonds, which they are to me.  They are precious.  

Now there is a distinction to be made...friends verses acquaintances.  A friend will be honest even when it is an uncomfortable situation.  A friend will always have your back, even when you are wrong.  A friend may move away, far away, but the distance doesn't change anything, and when you see them again it is like they never left.  Sure a few more grey hairs and a couple of pounds, but the bond that you established years before has lived through and beyond the distance.  

Some people become successful on the backs of others.  They have goals and regardless of who they hurt or destroy along the way, they will achieve success.  But at what cost?

I have learned that success can be measured only by one thing:  the quality of your friends.  It is the truest testament to what kind of person you are, and for me it is the only gauge of success I accept.  There is nothing more hollow than to have a heart that is lonely and longing.  

Don't give me all the money in the world; keep all your riches to yourself; just give me one evening of joy, laughter and fellowship amongst friends and family and I am the happiest that I can be.

Love to all.  And remember when life gets you down or seems too complicated, happy does it.  Happy will motivate you, move you, and push you to places that follow joy.

Happy Does It!  ;o) 

Last year, in June,  I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia.  This was a brutal blow for me as I never really thought that there would be one thing that would explain everything that I was experiencing, and as an added bonus, there is no cure for the disorder.  I use the word disorder because I know, after reading numerous journals, books, articles on Fibromyalgia, I have concluded that it is a disorder and not a disease.  Basically it is my central nervous system overreacting to things that a non-Fibro person would not react to, or react very little to.

This is very difficult for me, as I am a person of logic, and logically this doesn't make sense.  How did this happen to me?  What did I do?  How can I stop this from continuing on, and make my life normal?  Well, in a summation of all summations, here is my answer: I cannot stop it, but I can lessen the effect and control that it has in interfering with my daily activities.

But now, here's the kicker...I could do everything that is needed for me to be the best me I can be, but I can not stop my memory from coming and going.  This is not an easy thing for me, as I pride myself on remembering things and events.  This is scary for me; my grandmother died of Alzheimer's, and not being able to pull the information from my brain is the cruelest thing I could ever have thought could happen to me.  If I see you and I do not remember your name, I am sorry, but I actually can not pull that information right away.

I recently stopped being a student, which for me is devastating, but I have accepted that I am unable to retain the information and carry it for a long enough period to get through the exams. It was an eye opener.  WIDE EYES!  I haven't had difficulty in school ever; I relied on my memory for a lot, but being unable to retain the information, again, is a cruelty of this disorder. My husband said to me "You didn't stop, you have just put it on the shelf for a while..." 

I would like to clarify some misinformation about Fibromyalgia.  Fibromyalgia is a central nervous disorder.  What happens is that the person with Fibromyalgia has a lot of misfiring nerves that are telling us that we are in pain, when there is no reason for the pain.  The pain is real; it is not in our heads, which is one of the things that was once believed to be the case, believing the person with Fibromyalgia had a mental health disorder.  Kind of cruel, when you think about it.  Studies have been done of both Fibro and Non-Fibro patients hooked up to an fMRI machine to examine the pain response between the two groups.  The results were that the Fibro patients' brains lit up in the area of pain reception and was prolonged.  This, as well as other factors, led them to the conclusion that Fibro patients have high pain tolerance but a low pain threshold.  So you're probably wondering, "Okay, I get that, but what of the memory?"  Yeah me too.  I haven't read anything about the memory thing yet, but as a patient, I think it is because there is so much going on in my body that my brain is just trying to keep up, and it is choosing what it will and will not keep.  I kind of wish that it would choose to forget the pain, but that is not up to the brain, it is up to the entire central nervous system.

So now what?  What does a girl do who writes about life and being happy?  Well, I will keep on keeping on.  My Dad was and has always been the absolute biggest influence in my life.  His life, his death and his love of the living planet has moulded my world into something that I am able to look at and see all the beauty that is everywhere.  So if there is one thing about my life right now that I can pull out that would make me smile and be happy, well it is the love and support that I have. I have never been quiet about what is going on with me.  I cannot be.  Being a shy violet about Fibromyalgia prevents people from seeing it as something that someone is struggling with, and if I could help someone be more empathetic towards persons with Fibro,well that is a good thing. Everyone is suffering from something; be cognizant of this, and be a good neighbour, friend, or general human being.

​Happiness is the truest of goals, and if you keep positive and educate people you will prevent miscommunication.  We need open dialogue, open hearts, and open minds.

Remember, being happy is always up to you.  You have the power to control your destiny, you just need to see what is in front of you, be grateful and see all of the wonderful possibilities you possess.

As always, Happy Does It!  ;o)  

It almost seems like a novel concept, but today is the only time that we need to put our full attention.  People keep telling me to plan for the future, but for all we know, this may be the last day that we draw breath.  We have no crystal ball, we have no way of telling whether or not we will be here in the future days yet to come.   It is almost sad when you think about it.  We are always living our lives for tomorrow and not for the moments right in front of you.

Living mindful is something that I am practicing right now to help alleviate the pain that comes with having Fibromyalgia. It is a practice of being able to live in the moments, taking nothing for granted and recognizing yourself.  We are powerful beings and we have this wonderful gift of being able to have introspective which allows us to have perspective.  Strange, I am sure to most, but for me, it is something that I will keep on practicing to see where this takes me.  

Today is the only day that you have any control over.  It is our right as living beings to live to the fullest, it is also our duty to honour our life.  We were given this precious gift of life, and for us to forsake it and not live it to the fullest is dishonouring ourselves and other living creatures.  

Today, find something in your day that is awesome.  Make sure that you breathe it in and you absorb its wonderfulness.   It is our time and it is a limited time.  So, honour yourself, honour all living creatures and  honour being in the moment, the moment of today.

As I have always said, and keep saying....

Happy Does it!  ;o)

Imagine this one.  I am at a point in my life where there appears to me to be a lot of lost people.  People who are struggling in their own lives so that they have lost their way.  They have lost their meaning, and by losing their meaning they are travelling aimlessly down a path that seems to go nowhere.

Here is the thing, for me, when I find myself wandering aimlessly, with no purpose. I like to think of it as an opportunity to look at everything and re-examine everything.  It is not a time to be hard on yourself; it is a time to be alright with yourself knowing that you, like everyone else, are human.  There are so few people in the world that truly have a one focused purpose who know what they are supposed to do because it is and was their calling for the universe.  The rest of us need to keep meandering around to find out what it is that is our purpose.

For this to happen, I like to say that I like to "follow my happy," or use my ever-popular philosophy of "happy does it."  It is just that simple.  Picture the time or times in your life that you are most happy, and follow your happy. Whatever it is, that is where you are meant to go.  It might be the craziest thing ever, and might even challenge your logical brain, but people are the most productive when they are happy.  It goes along with that idea of finding something you love to do and you'll never work a day again for the rest of your life.   Find your happy. Once you find your happy, do your happy.  Be what it is that you are meant to be, what your heart tells you to be.  I am not saying that following your happy is going to make you wealthy, but there are more important things in life than things.  Life is about moments, and if you make these moments count, then on your day to leave the mortal plane, you will have passed on the knowledge to your children that the key to living well is to live.

Fear is always and will always be the roadblock or wall that prevents so many of us from not achieving to our full potential.  How to we stop fear?  How do we stop ourselves from stopping ourselves?  What can we do differently today that will change our future?  Fear is anxiety.  How do we stop anxiety?  We slowly start doing the thing that we are fearful of doing.  The more time that we do it, the easier it becomes, the less fearful, and the more happy we become.  Think of any time in your life when you started a new thing, (school, driving, a new job, your first date, etc) and remember that fear and anxiety, and then think of how you feel about those things now, and it will become very clear.  Fear has its place in protecting us from the unknown, but once those things become familiar, then fear just doesn't belong anymore.  Be respectful of fear; it protects you, but don't let it inhibit you from living.

We all have to make choices, some of which are not easy, or the best ones, but from this information we learn, we adapt, we become better selves.  It is important to refocus our lives to live for what is real and not what is superficial.  It is important for us to recognize that we all have a purpose; whether it is to save the world, or save peoples lives, or to have a conversation with an old man, or just to be loved by someone special, our lives are all interconnected, and because of this, we need not lose ourselves, we need to plot our courses to follow our happys.  The richest man in the world, does not have the most money. The richest man in the world lives his life to his absolute fullest.  He lives with love in his heart, and kindness in his soul.  He sees everyone as equals, and treats everyone with respect.  He laughs, and cries, but mostly he lives.

Please find and follow your happy!

Happy Does it! ;o)

I have been very fortunate in my life.  One of the things that I was fortunate to have in my life is I had grandparents.  I would like to focus on my Dad's parents right now.

Let me tell you why. First off, I loved them very much.  I was fortunate to know all of my grandparents, even if only for a little while, but knowing them allowed me to see as an adult how much their influence has had on my life.  What wonderful loving people.  All of them lived with integrity and love for all.  My Nanny and Grampie just loved one another so much that being around them was not only infectious, but refreshing.  Their love for each other and their family imprinted on me and shaped how I view my life and my family. Realizing what is important is life-changing. Those of us who has lost someone important in their lives know all too well what is the most important thing in our lives: family.  Whether your family is your biological, or just the natural meeting of the minds, the closeness that you feel with your family is the most important thing in your life.  Everyone needs to be loved and everyone needs to love.

My Nanny and Grampie were a good example of this.  They cherished their family.  They did not have much, but their house was never lacking in love.  They loved one another, and loved and cherished their children and their grandchildren. There are so many things that I have learned from them, from my Dad, and things that I model my life after because of my grandparents.

Grampie was an honourable man, and I challenge anyone who does not think so.  His love for all of his children was spoken of often.  Grampie had a wonderful heart. The first and only time that I ever saw my grandfather cry was March 3rd, 1988.  I still remember Grampie looking out the back door window, with tears running down his face.  It was like he was looking to the sky for and answer to a question.  My grandparents, both Nanny and Grampie were there. 

My grandfather was illiterate.  He was unable to read or write. However, he was an extremely intelligent man. You could never cheat while playing cards with him. Grampie's memory was infallible. Years ago, all of the grandchildren received a Christmas card from our Grampie.  These cards were signed by my grandfather.  Every year since, I have been putting this card up with all of the other Christmas cards.  My grandfather passed away in December 1995.  I haven't missed a Christmas. My grandmother passed away October 2012.  I have a Christmas card signed by her as well.  I do not know why, but it gives me comfort that my grandparents are a huge part of my Christmas traditions.  

My Nanny was amazing.  When you arrived there, she was always ready to have company.  Her house was never messy, and she would always take something out of the freezer to feed you if she did not have any fresh fish on hand.  You know what I loved about her the most: her laugh.  Nanny had the best laugh.  When Mairi was small, Nanny was visiting at the house in Sackville.  Mairi must have been about two or two-and-a-half.  Now my Nan would never swear, not in front of us, ever.  I remember Nanny was sitting at the table and next to and across from her was Mairi.  Nanny put her elbow on the table and her hand on her chin and with and exasperated sigh she looked at Mairi and said,"Oh, Sugar." Without missing a beat, Mairi being a mirror image to Nan, mimicked her physically, put her hand on her chin, and in the same tone said "Oh, Shit."  Well I thought that Nanny was going to lose it.  She cracked up laughing so hard.  Perhaps it was that time that changed Mairi forever; Mairi does not swear either.  Actually, just like Nan, Mairi is and always has been a lady.  That was my Nan.

Yes she was a true lady.  I miss Grampie and Nanny, but the memories that I have of them will carry on as long as I can tell the stories.

If we have love in our hearts, if we have love for one another; and if we love ourselves, our lives will never be empty.

As Always,

Happy Does It!  :o)

It will all work out in the end.  That is what I am hoping.  My husband admires me for my 'ever the optimist' attitude, but this comes with a massive price.  I need to have faith in everything that I do, and believe that what I am doing is the right thing. Right now, I am in a position, where there are people out there who have my livelihood in their hands.  Do I believe that these people are capable of handling things? Not really, but I need to believe in the truth and have faith that that is all that I need to go further. My only hope is that this dark cloud that has been cast upon our society will lift, and people will truly see the good in one another.  Too many times have people taken advantage, and this causes a mistrust which hurts the greater good, and many great people become complacent, and 'set in their ways'.  To those people I say, if you could possibly imagine, just for a moment, what your life would be like in someone else's shoes, maybe then your eyes will see truth, your ears will hear truth, your heart will do truth, and your life will be lived with truth.

So what do I do?  The current situation that I am in has hurt my family, has been disheartening, and has been a constant battle of my faith in myself.  I know what I am doing is the right thing and I have so many supporters (my husband, my mother, my daughters, my physicians and more) that have faith in me that I need to, want to believe that what I am doing is the right thing. The only thing is this is a hard spot to be.  

I would love to discuss this, and let people know what is going on, but I know that there will be eyes watching everything that I do.  I know that there will be people scouring the internet to find that piece of information that they need to deny the truth.  I know this because, when it all comes down to it, all evidence points to one loud conclusion.  Funny thing is, the conclusion it points to, for me, is not the truth.  I know the truth, I have stated the truth, but my words have fallen on deaf or just tired ears.  

My family's love right now gives me solace and strength.  I hope that this struggle that I am going through right now becomes something that paves the way, or builds a pathway for others.  My spirit is not broken.

As Always, 

Happy Does It!  ;o)

Hey you,

I hope that everything in life is going your way today.  I know that we haven't spoken in a while, but believe me, you are always on my mind.  In fact, everyday, before I go to sleep, I think about you.  Your smile, your  sweet laugh and other things. I make sure that that day, whatever day it is, I make sure that I did everything in my power to do to make sure that you know that I love you.  You don't need to speak to one another to show love to each other.

I know that lately you have been a little down and I wish that I could take away your pain.  I am sorry that I cannot, I can only offer you the comfort in knowing that you are not alone.  No matter how difficult this world gets, through all this chaos, please make sure that you stop and take pause and realize that I love you.  No matter what you are going through, I am in your corner.  I am your biggest fan, always.

No matter how bad it gets, no matter how scary, believe me, those monsters can be crushed with love and light.  The light inside of you may have been dimmer lately, but for me you are always a shining star;  you are the unexpected jalapeno in my nachos, the butter in my surprise potatoes.  You my love are a great and wonderful person.

I too, lately, have been a bit blue.  Crazy huh.  A person who owns a website named www.happydoesit.com being a little blue.  Well, what can I say, I am human.  You know what stops my blue from becoming dark, I know that I love you, and I know that everything is as temporary as you want it to be. It is temporary.  

Love can conquer all is truth!  

Love you Always,

Happy Does It! 
xoxo

This photo is copied from http://www.bigoven.com/article/recipe/jalapeno  The information on this site regrading the jalapenos is great!

With everything that has gone on this past month in Moncton, New Brunswick, I thought that it might be nice to write something positive. 

For those readers who are unaware of what happened in Moncton, New Brunswick this past month I will catch up up to speed.  Later in the evening, around 7:30pm, a man with an arsenal of guns terrorized the city of Moncton, and in this process, he shot and killed three RCMP officers, and injured two more.  The RCMP did eventually apprehend the man and he is currently in custody.  

Human behaviour has always fascinated me and sometimes human behaviour breaks my heart, but in more instances than not it makes me happy and proud.  

Although, I have never ever been in the situation that the citizens of Moncton were in, the resilience and respect that everyone had shown towards each other and the RCMP, is amazing.  Please take pause and think about how difficult it was for the other RCMP officers to continue to look for the man that shot and killed their friend, colleague and brother.

On the steps of the RCMP precinct in Moncton, shortly after the suspect was caught, flowers, candles and letters of respect were placed as tears flowed down the faces of the grateful citizens of Moncton.  Memories of the fallen were discussed on the news, praises of thanks and appreciation flowed from the tips of the mouths of everyone affected.   It goes back to the saying 'you don't know what you got until it is gone.'   Statements through the tears validates this statement, more so, it shows that we take a lot of things for granted.  Statements like; 'They (the officers that were shot and killed) were just doing their job'; 'These men got up to go to work today and will never go home to their families'; 'They died to protect us.'  These statements are all true.  

There are a lot of things I could say about the reality of how much we take for granted everyday, but I am not going to pick at that scab today.  It is not about ridicule, it is a day to be thankful.  It is a day to remember.  It is a day to love.  Show love, be love and give love.

I would like to express my deepest sympathies to the families of those three police officers.  By family, I mean everyone whose lives have been touched by the love that these men gave.  It is now a time to reflect on the wonderful contributions that these men made to the lives of everyone that they touched.  It is time to show love and support to the wives and children of these men, their time for healing will be long, and extremely difficult.  If they are shown love, they will keep out of the dark.  They will see that their Dad/Spouses are heroes to all of the citizens of Moncton and our beautiful country.  

Please remember to never forget.  Do not forget the lives that are put at risk every hour of everyday, to keep our freedom.  

Happiness lies within you, and your ability to see beyond yourself.  

As always,

Happy Does It  ;o)

I don't know where I heard this or if I just made it up in my head, but when people are faced with adversity, that is the time the you will see their true colours, their true face, their true being.   People who know me know that my grandfather died in August.  For me, it was a horrible time.  Like Grampa said, "Jaime is losing her Buddy;" no truer words could ever be spoken.  My Buddy.  That is a true qualifier as to the relationship that Grampa and I had.  We would laugh and joke around all the time.  He is the man that I turned to with any questions I had, and Grampa would always have answers for me.  A brilliant man, an honourable man, a man who every person should have an opportunity to be around, and now he is gone. The man that I loved and respected so dearly has gone into the great beyond.  I envision Grampa fixing things to make them better or to work more efficiently.

When you have a loved one who passes, their passing will become a catalyst for extremely bad behaviour.  People who you thought were decent people now become greedy; people who you thought were meek and spineless defend their loved one with honour.  The true characters of the story start meandering in to focus.  Secrets and lies are revealed, and the truth becomes extremely distorted.  I don't like this part of the story, only because I love with my whole heart and I live without lying.  Being truthful is not an easy task, but it helps me live a life that keeps me honest and increases my happiness level tenfold.

I never want for anything, really.  I may whine and moan about things, but to be perfectly honest, I have everything that I need in my life right now.  Knowing how to love with my whole heart has made a difference. After all,  you get out of life what you put into it. 

After my grandfather died, people behaved badly.  Their behaviour, in my eyes, was disrespectful of my grandfather.  Most of the time it felt like they were almost gleeful of his passing; after all, now they could take the reins and be their true selves for the world to see.  They hid like thieves in the night behind walls that they thought protected them from the karma. However, karma will eventually come and find them.  It is a child-like behaviour, something that you should learn is not very becoming in an adult.  The only way to live is to live with truth, and the only person who can do that for you, is you.

The truth is, for me now and always, that love is the greatest gift of all.  If your love is a love that is built on lies and mistrust, then your love is not love at all.  You need to be open with your loved ones; then and only then will they respect you and love you, and you can be sure that it is love that you are receiving and not something else cloaked in a web of darkness.  

Grampa was a great man, who had many flaws.  I loved him for all that he was, the good, the bad and the unknown.  I will always have great memories of him, and great memories of the times that he and I shared together.   Cape Breton will never have the same feeling for me ever again; the magic for me is gone, but my memories will always remain. 

Happiness is knowing that you are your true self.  It is being able to recognize that there is evil in the world, but you will not allow that evil to change who you are meant to be. Happiness is love.  Happiness is joy.  Happiness is truth.  Being happy is something that needs to be at the forefront of your mind.  Happiness is mindfulness.  Look around, see everything for what it is really worth.  Happiness is being able to accept.   Happiness is being able to be angry and know exactly why you are angry, and being able to articulate the feeling and emotions that are causing your anger.   Happiness is loving yourself.  Happiness is sharing.  So share some love today: give your spouse a hug or a kiss, play with your kids, call your parents or grandparents or even your good friends.  Live for today, be happy today.

As Always,

Happy Does It!  ;o)

I don't know where I heard it from, but years ago someone said or I read that it takes 21 days to form a habit.  I have used this information as a guideline for things like changing my diet or exercising  (Honestly, it is a work in progress).  However, when I think about being happy and living the way that I truly believe is the right way to live, I just have to remember that life is a journey and because of this, instant gratification is not possible.

Being happy is something that is inside of you.  It is something that you have to access within yourself.  Sit back sometime, alone, breathe in the air, drink coffee/tea or whatever, ask yourself 'what makes me happy?'  Right away, if you have children, you go there; your children make you happy.  Your partner, your friends, your family....the usual suspects.  I will let you in on something: you may feel happy when you think about your children, partner, family and friends, but they are not what makes you happy.

What you are accessing is the memories of things and experiences of 'good times,' which is all well and good, but you need to dig a little deeper.   If your children are like mine, although there are MANY memories about them that make me feel happy, there is also things that  made me very sad as well.

So let's work with the idea that your children make you  happy. What about them makes you happy?  Be specific.  With my daughters, the memory of the two of them in the backseat of the car, driving wherever; Mairi would tell these outlandish stories, I would intervene informing Ashleen that Mairi perhaps is exaggerating just a little, Ashleen would say 'I know, but I like the stories anyway.'  I love this memory because I remember looking at George and thinking that we weren't making a mistake blending our families.  The girls loved each other almost instantly, like they were two beings meant to be together.  My happiness from that moment was and is the feeling of being part of a whole.  We were a family.  Over time, children get older, they go their own way and somehow when George and I sit down to eat, empty chairs feel sad.  

If you look at memories as being all of your happiness , then your happiness is a shooting star and it will fade fast.  Memories are great, but you need to realize the core reason of  that memory which made you happy. What is it that made you happy?  You can not recreate a memory, but you can intellectualize what the core of the story was;  'remember this:  the moral of the story is....?'  From the story that I just shared, the core of the story was and is that I feel happy when I feel like I am part of a whole. This is something that I can continue to do, by nurturing the good relationships that I have, and not focusing too much on the complicated/challenging relationships.  Also, using my time wisely, and not always trying to be the person that fixes everything.  To be honest, it is exhausting when you are like me and you are always trying to fix things.  I am definitely a person who likes to be in control of my environment, so going through all of the paces to bring out happy is not always that easiest thing.

Go ahead, find the core of your happiness!

And as always,

Happy Does It!  :o)