Last year, in June, I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. This was a brutal blow for me as I never really thought that there would be one thing that would explain everything that I was experiencing, and as an added bonus, there is no cure for the disorder. I use the word disorder because I know, after reading numerous journals, books, articles on Fibromyalgia, I have concluded that it is a disorder and not a disease. Basically it is my central nervous system overreacting to things that a non-Fibro person would not react to, or react very little to.
This is very difficult for me, as I am a person of logic, and logically this doesn't make sense. How did this happen to me? What did I do? How can I stop this from continuing on, and make my life normal? Well, in a summation of all summations, here is my answer: I cannot stop it, but I can lessen the effect and control that it has in interfering with my daily activities.
But now, here's the kicker...I could do everything that is needed for me to be the best me I can be, but I can not stop my memory from coming and going. This is not an easy thing for me, as I pride myself on remembering things and events. This is scary for me; my grandmother died of Alzheimer's, and not being able to pull the information from my brain is the cruelest thing I could ever have thought could happen to me. If I see you and I do not remember your name, I am sorry, but I actually can not pull that information right away.
I recently stopped being a student, which for me is devastating, but I have accepted that I am unable to retain the information and carry it for a long enough period to get through the exams. It was an eye opener. WIDE EYES! I haven't had difficulty in school ever; I relied on my memory for a lot, but being unable to retain the information, again, is a cruelty of this disorder. My husband said to me "You didn't stop, you have just put it on the shelf for a while..."
I would like to clarify some misinformation about Fibromyalgia. Fibromyalgia is a central nervous disorder. What happens is that the person with Fibromyalgia has a lot of misfiring nerves that are telling us that we are in pain, when there is no reason for the pain. The pain is real; it is not in our heads, which is one of the things that was once believed to be the case, believing the person with Fibromyalgia had a mental health disorder. Kind of cruel, when you think about it. Studies have been done of both Fibro and Non-Fibro patients hooked up to an fMRI machine to examine the pain response between the two groups. The results were that the Fibro patients' brains lit up in the area of pain reception and was prolonged. This, as well as other factors, led them to the conclusion that Fibro patients have high pain tolerance but a low pain threshold. So you're probably wondering, "Okay, I get that, but what of the memory?" Yeah me too. I haven't read anything about the memory thing yet, but as a patient, I think it is because there is so much going on in my body that my brain is just trying to keep up, and it is choosing what it will and will not keep. I kind of wish that it would choose to forget the pain, but that is not up to the brain, it is up to the entire central nervous system.
So now what? What does a girl do who writes about life and being happy? Well, I will keep on keeping on. My Dad was and has always been the absolute biggest influence in my life. His life, his death and his love of the living planet has moulded my world into something that I am able to look at and see all the beauty that is everywhere. So if there is one thing about my life right now that I can pull out that would make me smile and be happy, well it is the love and support that I have. I have never been quiet about what is going on with me. I cannot be. Being a shy violet about Fibromyalgia prevents people from seeing it as something that someone is struggling with, and if I could help someone be more empathetic towards persons with Fibro,well that is a good thing. Everyone is suffering from something; be cognizant of this, and be a good neighbour, friend, or general human being.
Happiness is the truest of goals, and if you keep positive and educate people you will prevent miscommunication. We need open dialogue, open hearts, and open minds.
Remember, being happy is always up to you. You have the power to control your destiny, you just need to see what is in front of you, be grateful and see all of the wonderful possibilities you possess.
As always, Happy Does It! ;o)
This is very difficult for me, as I am a person of logic, and logically this doesn't make sense. How did this happen to me? What did I do? How can I stop this from continuing on, and make my life normal? Well, in a summation of all summations, here is my answer: I cannot stop it, but I can lessen the effect and control that it has in interfering with my daily activities.
But now, here's the kicker...I could do everything that is needed for me to be the best me I can be, but I can not stop my memory from coming and going. This is not an easy thing for me, as I pride myself on remembering things and events. This is scary for me; my grandmother died of Alzheimer's, and not being able to pull the information from my brain is the cruelest thing I could ever have thought could happen to me. If I see you and I do not remember your name, I am sorry, but I actually can not pull that information right away.
I recently stopped being a student, which for me is devastating, but I have accepted that I am unable to retain the information and carry it for a long enough period to get through the exams. It was an eye opener. WIDE EYES! I haven't had difficulty in school ever; I relied on my memory for a lot, but being unable to retain the information, again, is a cruelty of this disorder. My husband said to me "You didn't stop, you have just put it on the shelf for a while..."
I would like to clarify some misinformation about Fibromyalgia. Fibromyalgia is a central nervous disorder. What happens is that the person with Fibromyalgia has a lot of misfiring nerves that are telling us that we are in pain, when there is no reason for the pain. The pain is real; it is not in our heads, which is one of the things that was once believed to be the case, believing the person with Fibromyalgia had a mental health disorder. Kind of cruel, when you think about it. Studies have been done of both Fibro and Non-Fibro patients hooked up to an fMRI machine to examine the pain response between the two groups. The results were that the Fibro patients' brains lit up in the area of pain reception and was prolonged. This, as well as other factors, led them to the conclusion that Fibro patients have high pain tolerance but a low pain threshold. So you're probably wondering, "Okay, I get that, but what of the memory?" Yeah me too. I haven't read anything about the memory thing yet, but as a patient, I think it is because there is so much going on in my body that my brain is just trying to keep up, and it is choosing what it will and will not keep. I kind of wish that it would choose to forget the pain, but that is not up to the brain, it is up to the entire central nervous system.
So now what? What does a girl do who writes about life and being happy? Well, I will keep on keeping on. My Dad was and has always been the absolute biggest influence in my life. His life, his death and his love of the living planet has moulded my world into something that I am able to look at and see all the beauty that is everywhere. So if there is one thing about my life right now that I can pull out that would make me smile and be happy, well it is the love and support that I have. I have never been quiet about what is going on with me. I cannot be. Being a shy violet about Fibromyalgia prevents people from seeing it as something that someone is struggling with, and if I could help someone be more empathetic towards persons with Fibro,well that is a good thing. Everyone is suffering from something; be cognizant of this, and be a good neighbour, friend, or general human being.
Happiness is the truest of goals, and if you keep positive and educate people you will prevent miscommunication. We need open dialogue, open hearts, and open minds.
Remember, being happy is always up to you. You have the power to control your destiny, you just need to see what is in front of you, be grateful and see all of the wonderful possibilities you possess.
As always, Happy Does It! ;o)
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