19-02-11 The time it takes for you to react is a good indicator as to how important the topic is to you.  In the summer of 2009, I had an experience like that that caused my reaction to be that which I am unable to descibe.  All I can tell you is it was like someone had killed my inner soul and they were still trying to take more.  I heard some news that dropped me to the floor, wailing, like those people that you see on the movies.  For future reference, when you hear terrible news, there are some pretty accurate portrayals in the movies, so do not be shocked or embarassed if your reactions mimic those reactions that you have seen "in theatres near you."  Your reaction is completely based on how important the topic (in my case,  the person) is to you.

There is another thing.  You have this massive flood of emotions that are absolutely ridiculous.  I mean honestly, it is like your brain really doesn't know how you are supposed to be, so it throws everything and the kitchen sink at you.  You may start by wailing; then you're angry; then you are happy.  For some reason you try to logically depict why you are reacting the way that you are.  You become your own CSI agent and you are looking over every piece of evidence.  There needs to be a reason, right?  No sane rational person would react in such a way. After all, it is not only the opposable thumbs that separate us from the apes; our brains and intellect have something to do with it right?  Here is the thing: we experience shock, which is kind of like a short circuit in our brains.  We are no longer rational humans; we are everything that we are all at once.  Saying that it is overwhelming is kind of understating the event.  Truly, it depends on the person, and their personal experience.

On the flip side of it all, you can have pretty much the same reaction when you hear fantasic news.  Or so I am told.  I have personally never heard any news that caused a reaction like that.  I may have had one right after my daughter was born, but they had me so pumped full of drugs I had a hard time focusing on anything, let alone my feelings. I like to experience life.  I hold on to the vivid details of life and things around me.  These things really do make me happy.  I think that maybe some time in my life I will be able to experience something so overwhelming that I drop to my knees and yell "Alleluia!"  I think that when that moment comes,  I will then be able to use words that will be known as the biggest proclamation ever spoken.  I will share this great news with you, and you and I will share in bliss. Until that happens, I'll just have to settle for being observant and living within this world.

So, it is the reaction time that shows to all of us how we truly feel about things.  A smile.  A frown.  A high five.  We all have reactions, we are all human.  You should realize that, again, how you react is how you are feeling at that moment.  You need not apologise for reacting the way you do. You need only apologise if you are demeaning or rude.  And if you are witness to an emotional outburst, a little empathy goes a long way.  In some cases. Other times, if the person is being unreasonably rude, well, release hell.  Some people need to be put back in the box/hole that they came out of.   I swear that there are some people who were raised by aliens.  It has to be aliens because saying they were raised by animals is, well, insulting to animals.  I have never seen or met an alien (that I know of), so I have no comparison.

Keep your chin up, and respect your reactions.  Afterall, they are just human nature, nothing to be ashamed of.

As Always,

Happy Does It

19-02-11   I am going on a road trip.  I am going to drive to your house, and you and I are going to drive wherever the quarter tells us to go.  Yes, a quarter.  We are going to flip it; 'heads' we go left, 'tails' we go right. By chance, we will not go completely in a square, but instead we are going to leave it up to the fates of this world.  Or from the more scientific side, it will be determined on the weight and velocity of the flipping of the quarter.  Any way you slice it, we are going.  Let's go for a drive.  Let's go on a whim and see where we end up.  Throw caution to the wind.

Most of us will not leave our lives to chance. We need to control what we have around us, because when we do this, we make it real.  We have no intentions on impulsivity, and our lives are just grand being very routine and stable.  Stable, there is a word.  Most of us strive to be stable. Now that we have reached certain points in our lives, this is what we need to hold on to to live. 

Now let us see how many of  us can remember being young and allowing ourselves to be part of this world letting things be as they are and maneuvering around them.  The quarter thing is something that I used to do when I was young.  Leave it all to chance.  I would go places on a whim just so I could say that I did it.  These things did make me happy, and for some reason these memories would help me through things.  My crazy excursions.  I can honestly say, when we all got our licenses, our lives changed.  The freedom that we had was undescribable. 

SO, lets go for a drive.  We are older now.  Yes, it is true, we have responsibities, but let's work around them.  You tell me your schedule and I will surprise you, and you and I will travel around and leave it all to chance.  I know that this is scary for most people, but I promise it will be fine.  I will take care of you.  We can go wherever you want to go.  Perhaps it is a place that you keep promising yourself, "Some day I will get there."  I have been there. I promise myself things all the time. Actually, I am my own worst liar; I lie to myself all the time.  Always, saying, "Later,"  "Some day,"  "When I have more money," "When my life is more stable."  I am sad to inform you of this, but there is no perfect time.  There is no optimum time for you, only because your time is now.  You are breathing in your time right now.  That is why we need to experience it right now.  Live for you, and stop allowing the fantasy of your life to interfere with your life right now.

Wel,l have you decided?  Would you like to go for a drive?  I promise, I only bite when it is absolutely necessary.  Plus, I will let you ride shotgun the whole way. Oh, if you prefer,  you could drive into the direction that you really want to go.  Either way, I am always going to be beside you for whatever journey that you choose to take. 

As Always...

Happy Does It!

18-02-2011  This phrase keeps ruminating in my head: "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade." I am unsure of its origins, but to be frank, I don't really care.  It holds true to life, and coincides with the purpose of my blogging.  When I think of this statement I remember this particular instance when George and I were out for "our drive."  We go out for drives a lot especially when we are in Cape Breton.  During this particular drive, we somehow ended up in Donkin, which is just outside of Glace Bay.  In Donkin there is this company house.  For those of you who are unaware of what company houses are, I will now attempt to explain what a company house is and its purpose.  The main industry in the early 1900s in Cape Breton was coal mining.  It was considered to be black gold because it was so profitable.  Unfortunately, these mines were run by unscrupulous individuals who thought more about the money than the people mining their product.  The "company" bought land and built houses.  Their employees lived in these houses, but at a cost.  Although to most it may seem like a good deal, the miners' rent was deducted from their pay. There were also "company" stores from which the miners purchased their monthly groceries and amenities.  These purchases were also deducted from their pay.  At the end of the month, the miners either had little to no money, or were still in debt to the company.  This is a dark and very true story about the life of the miners.  It is a base that established the resilience that we still now see in those who will never forget.

Now back to my drive.  

George and I were driving through Donkin and we came across this company house.  This house was special.  The person who owned this particular company house did some renovations to it to make it less like a company house and more like someone's palace.  They re-did the top floor to include a balcony.  It was so interesting that George said, "Well that is making lemonade," and we both cracked up and laughed.  Guess what though: it has become synonymous with that saying for George and me.      

So here it is:  Perhaps you are one of the lucky ones, born in a life that hands everything to you, and luck always follows you.  You breeze through life like those summer breezes through the cherry blossoms, spreading your joy around everywhere.  Sweet-smelling and always accepted by those around you.  Lots of people envy those who appear to 'have it all.'  Perhaps you are a person that, well, quite frankly, was dealt a terrible hand at life, and a fish out of water was voted more likely to survive than you.  You are the person constantly comparing your life to others because you've had  it so hard, and all you see is how ungrateful those who have good fortune in life are.  You claim that you live in the real world; you are not a pessimist or optimist, you are a 'realist.' You live in the real world, worked hard for everything you have and know life.  The reality of being put into a life like this is this: if you are one of these people, you have to make a choice.  The choice you need to make is, are you going to suck on the lemon, be sour at life, or are you going to make lemonade?  Are you just going to sit by idly and allow life to pass you by, or when opportunities do come knocking, are you ready to open the door? 

I personally have found myself in some pretty entangled and strangling sitiuations.  I am lucky because I have been blessed with a gift.  My gift is my personality. It wouldn't allow me not to face everything head-on. I challenged and continue to challenge everything.  My family used to say that I would make a great lawyer because of my ability to argue even if I am wrong (which never occurs).  I have always been a fighter.  I press boundaries, making it difficult for my life or my sitiuation to bring me down.  I know that I am going in a straight line because I would be ashamed if I avoided the truth.  I refuse to hold on to things that are not that important to me.  Besides, whatever circumstance you were born into do not define the person that you are today.  Trust me, I have met several supposed well-to-do people who could find their own head if it wasn't attached to them.  Irregardless, you have gotten to where you are because of you.  Plus you have the experience to reflect  upon and make youself better.  You have an advantage.  Knowledge.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

For those of you who are not religous, well, this applies to life. So just drop the God at the begining, and it still works. 

Happy Really Does It.  Positive thinking will change perspectives of all that choose to live positively.  It all comes down to making a choice.  Kind of cool; you have the power to control your own situation just by focusing on the successes, no matter how small.  They are yours.  Your smiles.  Your happys.  Your breaths.

Happy Does It

16-02-11 One thing that I noticed is that my post from yesterday may have come across as a little sad.  Perhaps a little upsetting.  That was not even the slightest of my intentions.  My life is full of love.  When I speak of anyone who has passed, I speak of them with a glowing respect.  I miss them, but I am thankful for knowing such wonderful people.  Such great stories and memories;  we all have them.  They are the things that keep us going.  They are a reminder of how wonderful life is, and perhaps give us some insight into why we were put here in the first place.

Life and Love. These two things are really interconnected.  They have to be.  I know that if my life did not have love, it would be pretty terrible.  I would be alone.  I would be sad.  I would not have experienced the times that make me smile the most.  Like when my husband George gives me this look that basically says, “Okay there sweetheart, I got this one.  You can stop telling me what to do, I have figured it out.”  I know all of his looks.  Most of the time, we need not say a word to each other; we just know.  A lot of the time, we do not have to actually tell each other what the other one wants.  We just know.  What a great feeling.  He has weaved his love into my life, around my heart and throughout my soul.  I find it rather irritating in some ways.  When in my life did I decide to give my all to one man?  When did I just let go and fully trust one man?  Who is this stranger that I am speaking of?  Where did all of her selfish behaviours go? Alright, enough of that. I will answer my own question.  I never gave my all to one man.  If I did that, then there would be no room for doubt, and I am by nature a jealous creature, so you could say I am a doubting Tom.  Not that George has EVER done anything to make my suspicions come to fruition.  No, he never has.  He is what any woman would want; a completely devoted man, and his devotion is for me and our family.  He would do anything for me. 

So why be so ‘suspicious?’  Well, here is the thing.  One of the reasons I know how to be happy is because I know how to be sad.  Extremely sad.   I would say that I have a very colourful past with a lot of good times and equally bad times.  I had encounters with people with whom I had given my everything to, all of my heart, all of my soul, to only end up lost.  You see, with great gains come great sacrifices.  In order for “my me” to except the “my I,” I needed to risk it all.  I had absolutely no self-esteem.  Not even an ounce. My worth to me was solely based on other people's opinions of me.  This is an extremely tragic way to live.  I find it really hard to see other women in the same position as I was back then, knowing what I know, and being helpless, 'cause really, you cannot help.  It is their journey.  Their choices to make.  I was depressed and lonely, and I had to do something drastic to stop the craziness that was then consuming my life.  I laid it all on the table, and I lost.  Thank god for small miracles. 

I had to re-learn that I was important to myself and others.  I had to re-learn that who I was mattered, who I am is important, and that I should love who I am before giving it all away.  Knowing what I know now, makes me happy.  Happy that, to my love George, I give everything that I have to give, but I still keep things for me.  He understands that.  He knows that I need to keep a part of me for me, but the rest is his.  I am so very, very lucky.  George I live with you, I love with you and together we are strong.

As Always..

Happy Does It!

15-02-11  This may seem like quite a ridiculous idea that from death comes life.  It is the truth, and I have proof.  Here is the thing; we need to examine death in order to understand the point that I am trying get across.  Death.  The unknown.  Something that we just have to have faith about, what happens to us after our body perishes.  When all is said and done and we breathe in that last breath, feel the last beat of our heart and fade into blackness, our physical being has ended.  Cold.  Bare. Our ideas, thoughts and beliefs are carried on by our family and friends.  So basically, if you were a sucky mean nasty SOB, don’t expect to live on through traditional means. 

Everyday, in some way, someone who loved us and left us too early touches our lives through the love they gave us when they were here.  People live by codes, morals and the ideas that again are passed down.  You will hear people talk glowingly about their grandparents, parents, friends, and others who touched their lives.  I think of my Grampie.  He pops in there once in awhile.  He was a great man, who had love in his heart.  He was the least judgemental being I have ever met.  There are great stories that go along with him.  Like the one time there was this travelling salesman.  He was selling Watkins products.  The man came into their house and my grandfather mercilessly picked on this man by asking what each product was, what was it for, and to top it all off, why would he need something like that.  But as I said, my Grampie was a good man. I am sure that that man had never had to work so hard for a sale.   My grandfather bought a lot of product from him.  It was not a loss for him.

My grandfather, he wasn’t a rich man, but he was happy.  He loved his wife, his children and his grandchildren.  He wasn’t the most educated man.  He was illiterate. He dropped out of school when he was young right after his father died.  My Grampie was a fisherman.  The real kind.  No machinery could outwit my grandfather; you'd bet that if you put him up against any machine, he would find the fish first.  I remember going to my grandparents', and enjoying myself.  Whether it was in the summer, going to the shore clam digging, or swimming at Beach Meadows, or in the winter building the biggest snowman ever, we always had fun.  That is love.  That is happy.

The main reason that I am bringing up beautiful, wonderful things that happened to me in the past is that I learned a long time ago that from death comes life.  I was only small.  No, it was not when my father passed away.  It was when my father and grandfather would burn the grass in the spring to give room for the new grass.  With the death of the old grass came new grass.  Interesting concept.  I found out early that from death comes life.  My dad would explain to me about those dead animals that you encounter when you are a child; dad would say that they are feeding other animals.

The life could be literal or figurative.  For example, when people affect you in the spiritual way, then their life energy is living on through you.  You feel them.  You just know that they are there.  A very smart man had the saying that when we die the energy has to go somewhere.  Well, who knows.  I know that I am going to live my life to the fullest.  So when the dark angel comes to me and asks me to let go, I want to live through my life force, my life energy and the love that I gave to everyone that I know.

As Always..
Happy Does It!

14-02-11 You may think that this is a time to celebrate love.  Well you are thinking right.  Although Valentine's day gets a really bad rep from all of the cynics in this world, we do need a day to celebrate love.  The ones we love.  Our partners, our children, and our family.  We live in a time when everything is so damn busy, no one stops to smell the proverbial roses.  Look at your partner.  Study their face.  This is the one that you chose to be with.  You made that choice.  Is that not what our freedom is based on: "choice?"  The right to choose? 

For some of you, you will look into their eyes and always see the one that you chose.  Although they may have changed over the years, greying hair, lack of hair, more wrinkles than a wrinkle dog, they are still always your partner, the one that you chose.  Love is truly a force to be reckoned with.  No evil shall prevail in a house that is built on love.   That is what a true foundation is made of: love. 

Some things about your life are things that you try every day to understand, only to be completely perplexed by it every day.  Being amazed is something that everyone should experience. In awe.  Have you ever looked at your partner, paused, and became totally in awe of everything that they say and do?  You think to yourself,"'Why am I so lucky to have met someone like this, someone who loves me, who will be there and support me in every endeavour that I try?"  It is not luck, baby; you deserve this.  You deserve to have someone who is your #1 fan, who always has your back. Someone to cry with, laugh with and even fight with.  Your life, your choice, your love.

Happy Valentine's Day.

Happy Does It.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bgeqw7s00xg&feature=related

12-02-11  Imagine.  This word will evoke things inside of you.  It may be a song written by one of the greatest poets of our time.  It may be a memory of being in class as a child and having the teacher tell you to close your eyes as they read you a story.  No matter what is the case, ‘imagine’ is a great word.  Think about it.  We are able to create worlds that don’t exist, all within the confines of our mind.  We are able to think about love, life, death.  We can imagine telling people off, being like something that we are not, making that ex-boyfriend jealous.  Your dreams could be something that inspires you.  If your will is strong, you will break that fear that stops you from completing your dreams.

 Imagine.  What is it about that word?  Why does it stir so much?  Why do we see it and think that things may be possible?  We will use this word in all kinds of daily activities.  Everyday.  This word will come to the forefront.  Perhaps it is in a scenario that you are saying something like ‘imagine if I did that,’ then the rolling of the eyes would occur.  Usually when you use this word it follows with a mental image that invades your mind, if even for a split second.

Mental image.  Is this why we created a such a word?  We needed to name this thing that we do in our heads so that others could relate.  We have to create words for everything. Such curious creatures we humans are.  Especially, us English speaking creatures.  Our language consists of tens of thousands of words, and we are still adding more all the time.  Labelling everything seems to be in our nature.  We label our children when they are born.  We label our animals when we have pets.  We label everything.  We just cannot conceive that things are the way they are, period.  We have to intellectualize everything so we have an understanding of it all, what it all means.  Still we leave ourselves with the great question of "Why?" We cannot answer that question.  We cannot explain things that we do not understand.  The empirical evidence needs to be right in front of us to determine the validity of the claims.  Like the existence of God.  Is God real?  Does God Exist?  Well, those questions will only be answered by each and every individual, because I cannot force my will on you, I cannot make you believe in what I do, it is up to you. 

 

Happy Does it

08-02-11 I love this saying “resistance is futile.”  I am a huge Trekkie.  I have been watching Star Trek for as long as I can remember.  "Resistance is futile," for those of you who don’t know, is what the Borg would say to the beings of the planets that they were capturing.  The Borg was a collective, meaning they collected all sorts of species and turned them into Borg.  Borg thought as one.  It was a collective with one purpose; to gather all species and turn them into Borg.

What a wonderful idea that Gene Roddenberry had about life.  He decided to create a world where there was no money and the primary goal was to live in peace.  Plus, there is the whole "to boldly go where no one has gone before," explore-y thing.  I think that it would be quite neat to live in a place and time where you don’t have to pay for anything and we are all equal.  Imagine a life without bills, free food and housing.  No War.  No Genocide.  What is wrong with our society that there are people who truly believe that they are worth more than anyone else? 

What if we lived life like that here on earth?  Lived in peace?  Had no need for money? I watch the news everyday and my heart breaks seeing that there is so much pain throughout this world. Right now, in southern Sudan, there will be a new country in July.  These people have been living in poverty for years.  On the news, they actually said a fifteen year-old girl is more likely to die from childbirth then to finish high school.  Over 75% of the southern population is illiterate.  This break from the North is going to liberate these people.  They will need help from everyone. 

We live in a free world, yet we allow the government to make so many tiny decisions.  For example; exactly why do I, as a grown adult, have to wear a helmet when I am riding a bicycle? Surely I can understand why I have to wear a seat belt, but the helmet on a bike...I don’t understand.  I could complain about the government, but that may take a while.  Plus, I do not have this website to ramble on about the negative.   I want to talk about happy things.  Good things. 

So here it is.  We may still have bills to pay, but we have love.  We may have to abide by laws, but we still have freedoms.  We are a free-thinking society.  We are allowed to voice our opinions.  I, as a woman, am allowed to be a woman, a human being, who has opinions, thoughts, and love.  I am not ridiculed, beaten, burned for being a woman.  I am allowed to love.  I am allowed to walk freely.  I am not forced into marriage, raped, or victimized because I am thought to be less than human.  We truly have been blessed.  We are fortunate.  We should look around and be thankful for what we have every day. 

“I am woman, hear me roar”

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FLV4BBmjnzM

 So, yes, resistance is futile, and I am going to invade you thoughts, with a balance of happy, sad and reality. 

Happy Does It!

07-02-11-  I love to make snow angels.  Crazy huh.  When there is snow on the ground it takes every ounce of my self-restraint not to jump in and wave my arms in an angel motion.  It is always cold and wet, but it feels so refreshing to be just a little young once in a while.  Letting go of the adult in you is so good for your sanity.  I know the realities of life will sometimes bring you down.  I do believe that you are only as old as you feel.  Well, I feel great.  I do not feel old at all.  Sometimes my body feels old but my mind is sharp.  I love doing things that are not typically age-appropriate.  Like, for example, playing video games.  I love playing video games.  You might say that I am a video game geek; I am all right with that.  I enjoy being able to remove myself with the reality that is called life.  Besides, this make me happy.  I really do enjoy it. 

The other night, my daughter and I walked in the snow storm.  We had a snow ball fight.  Hello.  I am 33 years old and I am participating in a snowball fight.  It was a blast.  I think that we use this language that starts with, "I used to be good at," and, "I used to love doing," and we neglect the things that made us happy for a little while.  Now some things you do/will outgrow, but other things are not off limits.  Try skinny-dipping.  Why not?  We are still the life forces that we started out as.  We are just a little older.  How about going out to go dancing?  You may have a family, but you are not dead.  We need to relax and have some good old fashioned fun.  How about a bonfire by the ocean?  Taking the cheapest train to wherever it goes?  Getting up at five in the morning to go fishing for the day?  I love fishing.  Actually, a friend of mine used to come over to see me the night before he would go fishing.  He came over to ask me to get him some night crawlers.  I had a blast.  Things that I truly like doing, I am sure would surprise most of you.  Like I said, sometimes you need to let go and live.

Wake up.  Get out of this stupor.  Make yourself noticeable.  You are in a world where there are a billion faces and yours is just as beautiful as the next one.  You need not become painted in the background of your own life.  Your children are the centre of your universe, but you are the centre of theirs.  It is a beautiful circle, now live like you are alive.  We may not be here tomorrow.  Anything could happen at any point.  Life is your gift, no refunds.


Happy Does It!

03-02-11  Tonight, my family celebrated Chinese New Year 2011, The Year of the Hare.  It was really nice.  My mother brought some delicious food and we all sat down and enjoyed a wonderful meal.  This is not the first time that we did this and probably will not be the last. 

You see, when George and I lived in Cape Breton,  we also celebrated Chinese New Year.  It turns out that he and I have the same ideas when it comes to allowing our daugthers to experience different cultures.  In true George fashion, we had in-depth information regarding some of the traditions that coincide with this holiday, and we turned it into a teaching experience for our kids.  I got on board and provided the necessities for the experience. They loved it.  The Chinese traditions are family oriented and so are George and I.  They have a great focus on gatherings with family and enjoying quailty time together.  Plus, it doesn't hurt to eat some things a little out of your normal cuisines.

When people try things new that they have never done before, it is much better when you have people to share the experience with.  In our case, it was an experience with those that we love the most. 

Anyhow, tonight, I decorated with red and gold; had a lucky banner and to complete the affair, we bought a gold bunny with a red ribbon around its neck.  Aside from the gastronomical experience, we also included fortune cookies.  We played a game and then we ended the evening. 

The point I am trying to make is that sometimes you should travel outside your comfort zone, in order to experience something new.  We didn't travel far, not even outside our own home, but we did enjoy what we did.  Try different foods.  Experience different cultures.  Sure, mashed potatoes and roast beef are extra yummy, but so is Thai food, Sushi(yum), and Indian Food.  You do not have to leave the country to learn about other cultures; you could read about them on the internet or get a book from the library.  Any way you look at it, any quality time you spend with your family is better than anything, and it pays off in dividends.  GREAT MEMORIES!!

Happy Does It!