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Day Nineteen

10/29/2019

 
Why does everyone feel so guilty all the time?  We are so hard and critical of ourselves and others around us.  It is no wonder that so many people have low self-esteem.  How can you feel good about yourself when others think so low of you or judge you based one arbitrary things?  I can honestly say that when I was younger I judgmental of others. Thinking about that time in my life, I know that I behaved this ways because I didn't feel anything about myself. It wasn't that I had low self-esteem; I had no self-esteem.  I was an easy target for anyone that wanted to make me feel insecure and not worthy.  Easy target. It must have felt good for them too, because I was a beautiful girl who was extremely insecure.

Knowing how I had no self esteem me makes all of the transformations that I have gone through over my forty-two years awe inspiring.  Most people who knew me when I was younger, wouldn't quite figure out what the difference is in me.  It is easy.  It is not that I don't care, it is that I don't pay any attention to others opinions of me.  I don't have enough energy to waste on junk.  Plus, their negative opinions are more of a reflection on themselves, not me.

Now, I love me.  I have someone who loves all of me.  I have a fantastic relationship with my daughters.  I don't really think about my weight, but I eat healthy.  Eating healthy is not something that I have to do, it is something that I want to do and enjoy.  It is something that I do for me.  I eat food that I enjoy eating.  I love so many flavours and love trying new flavours.  Give me more!  I love cheesecake, but instead of having a whole cheesecake(which I am sure I could eat it all) we buy little tastes.  It is a forced portion control.  It makes me happy.  Not worrying about my weight makes me happy.  So when I eat anything, I feel no guilt.  None.  And this lack of guilt allows me to enjoy all meals, social occasions, and family meals.  No stress, no guilt.

So don't hide.  You are beautiful just as you are.  The moment you realize that you are amazing, you will gain a strength you never knew you had.  You can look at things with clear vision and know that you are doing things that are for the betterment of you.  You need to enjoy life.  Don't cut out things that bring you pleasure.  Moderation might be something to consider if you are like me and you like little cheesecakes, but make room for yum.

​Happy Day Nineteen!
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