This is awesome and kind of a milestone.  They say(whoever 'they' are) it takes twenty-one days to form a habit.  Well today is day twenty-one, Congratulations!  It only means that there are only a few more to go and then we will reach the end.

I think that it is amazing how our brains work: habit forming little sponges. We are always trying new things and sometimes we find them difficult, but sometimes you do something that is just completely enjoyable.  Do more of that.  Yes I know there are times that you have to do things that you don't want to do, and that is just a part of life.  But when you are not being the responsible person that you have to be, be the person that you enjoy being.  

My nieces were dressed tonight for Halloween.  The three year old was dressed as a ghost old lady.  She had these really awesome wings under her arms.  So I ask her to spread her wings, and do you know what she did, she spread her arms out as far as she could, and had a giant smile from ear-to-ear.  I looked at my mother and said "That is how life should be, live life with the joy of a three year old."  She was adorable.

Could you imagine, standing on a rock by the ocean side, spreading your 'wings' with a smile from ear-to-ear.  No matter how grumpy you are or were, it wouldn't last too long.  You might feel silly but honestly who cares?  And even if they do care, so what.  They are not you.  If you really want to mess with your audience, try singing or making silly sounds.  Don't worry, they'll either think you are crazy, or they will find it funny.  You loose nothing in this transaction, but you gain joy and maybe a little happy.

Remember everyday you can find and create your own happys.  When you need to find your happys, bring them out and remember them or do them again. 

Happy Halloween!

Years ago I was at Costco with My Love when I decided to purchase a colouring book.  Not for my nephews, but for myself and my husband.  It is an activity that you do to relax you mind or single focus your thoughts.  When you are thinking and focused on colouring inside the lines and what colours to use, you do not think about anything else that is going on around you.  It is a kind of meditation.  I just so happened to enjoy it, and I believe that My Love liked it, but wouldn't do it very often.  I actually liked the colours that came with his set, so I would often use his coloured pencils to get different pops of colour.  

Would I say that colouring these sheets made me happy? No.  However it did take my mind off things that worried me even if for a little while.  I get this same satisfaction when I set out to solve a puzzle.  Focused.  It is probably my stubbornness that plays a large part. 

I will get the same feeling of focus cooking and baking.  Today I made a vegetable soup from scratch.  I had to prep all of the veggies first, then the process begins; adding, tasting, adding more, tasting more, until the soup is what I had imagined it to be.  This takes a long time.  Because of my illness the prepping today took me about three hours.  My hands and arms were sore and painful, but I did it anyway.  I get so much joy out of making soup.  Joy = Happy

If there is something out there that you like to do, that takes your focus but gives you joy, just do it.  Do it as often as you like.  I have to stop typing now, my hands are getting tired.

Why does everyone feel so guilty all the time?  We are so hard and critical of ourselves and others around us.  It is no wonder that so many people have low self-esteem.  How can you feel good about yourself when others think so low of you or judge you based one arbitrary things?  I can honestly say that when I was younger I judgmental of others. Thinking about that time in my life, I know that I behaved this ways because I didn't feel anything about myself. It wasn't that I had low self-esteem; I had no self-esteem.  I was an easy target for anyone that wanted to make me feel insecure and not worthy.  Easy target. It must have felt good for them too, because I was a beautiful girl who was extremely insecure.

Knowing how I had no self esteem me makes all of the transformations that I have gone through over my forty-two years awe inspiring.  Most people who knew me when I was younger, wouldn't quite figure out what the difference is in me.  It is easy.  It is not that I don't care, it is that I don't pay any attention to others opinions of me.  I don't have enough energy to waste on junk.  Plus, their negative opinions are more of a reflection on themselves, not me.

Now, I love me.  I have someone who loves all of me.  I have a fantastic relationship with my daughters.  I don't really think about my weight, but I eat healthy.  Eating healthy is not something that I have to do, it is something that I want to do and enjoy.  It is something that I do for me.  I eat food that I enjoy eating.  I love so many flavours and love trying new flavours.  Give me more!  I love cheesecake, but instead of having a whole cheesecake(which I am sure I could eat it all) we buy little tastes.  It is a forced portion control.  It makes me happy.  Not worrying about my weight makes me happy.  So when I eat anything, I feel no guilt.  None.  And this lack of guilt allows me to enjoy all meals, social occasions, and family meals.  No stress, no guilt.

So don't hide.  You are beautiful just as you are.  The moment you realize that you are amazing, you will gain a strength you never knew you had.  You can look at things with clear vision and know that you are doing things that are for the betterment of you.  You need to enjoy life.  Don't cut out things that bring you pleasure.  Moderation might be something to consider if you are like me and you like little cheesecakes, but make room for yum.

​Happy Day Nineteen!

When you go into a job interview one of the questions asked of future employees is "What do you believe to be your strengths and what do you feel are your weaknesses?"  Most people when they go into these interviews have their canned answers.  They are as honest as they should be, but not as honest as they could be.  It doesn't make you right or wrong, whatever you choose to say, it just shows that you have the ability to be self-introspective.  A good quality in an employee; if you are looking for trust worthy people.

By actually knowing your own strengths and weaknesses you can do so much for your own well being.  Some people say that you need to know your limitations, which is perfectly true.  Knowing your own limitations is great; but knowing your limitations and asking someone else for help is better.  I have always been in the mind set that more ideas on the pile creates genius. Adding more ideas to the pile will again make the ideas better, more rich, more complete.  My strengths might be what your weaknesses need and vice versa.

I am not a very physically strong person, but I am very smart.  I also have high acuity with spacial thinking.  This is an added bonus when I am packing anything or I am trying to organize anything.  My brain somehow, sees things and figures out the puzzles to make them work.  I know that I am not a mathematical genius, and I never will be, but I can hold my own. Another strength of mine is a strong command of the English language, and lucky for me, My Love does too.

You might have gotten to this point and are wondering "Okay, so what is your point?"  Well I was able to use some of my super powers these last few weeks to help someone I love dearly.  By starting and completing this small project, which was easy for me, help them so much.  I was able to reduce stress and anxiety for someone I care about and I feel really good about it.  This made me very happy and since the end point of this project happened on this day, I feel quite successful.  It is a natural high. 

I think that if you made it this far, day eighteen, it wouldn't be a stretch to ask you to help someone else.  Offer your services to someone who you love, and do something that they need done.  Lessen their burden.  Let them know they are loved and not alone. 

It is the greatest feeling!  Be Happy!  :)

Music for me is soul soothing. So many melodies with complexities that are just awe inspiring.  I have been using music as a type of self-soothing method of therapeutic healing unbeknownst to me since I was very little.  I would sing all the time.  I would hum.  I would listen to all of the noises and music coming off the earth, out of the radio and from the mouths of many different beings.  I have always wondered if Beethoven's fifth symphony was brought to light from listening to the birds sing.  There is a bird whose song sounds like it.  When I am feel blah or sad, I will listen to songs that complement my mood.  So sad = sad,  happy = happy and so forth.  It isn't anything scientific, it is just something that connects to a piece of me.  I love to sing. I didn't realize how much.  As I get older I appreciate singing even more.  When I was young,I was a student at the Conservatory of Music so I was taught how to breathe properly for singing.

The neat thing about singing, if you actually are doing it properly, you will be singing from your diaphragm.  When you access your diaphragm you are activating you para-sympathetic nervous system which contains the vagus nerve. There have been many studies done on diaphragmatic breathing having positive effects by reducing stress. Who wouldn't want to learn something that will reduce stress and anxiety?  When you are singing from your diaphragm you are reducing your stress.  I believe that  learning diaphragmatic breathing benefit everyone. It is not difficult and it is a lot cheaper with less side effects(none) than medication.  I don't think that this should replace any therapy regime started and followed by a medical professional.  It would be additional to other routines.

Whether you choose to learn how to breathe to sing;  or you just choose to learn how to breathe for stress relief, I think anything that will help with stress reduction is a major first step to happy.  The beautiful thing about breathing is it travels with you, and when you learn how to do it, you can 'pull it out of your pocket', whenever it is needed. :)

I was scanning Youtube and there are a bunch of videos demonstrating diaphragmatic breathing.  This is something that has improved my life.  If you practice mindfulness this is a good time to practice, when you are learning the technique. 

​So for today, JUST BREATHE!

Years ago my children were in a play which was written and directed by Duncan Wells called "The Invisible Morrison Jeffery."  There is one part of the play where the girls had to start singing "Ac-Cent-Tchu-Ate the Positive" by Harold Arlen with lyrics by Johnny Mercer.  I was thinking about this song and I think day sixteen, since we are half way there, can do just that 'Accentuate the Positive."

I think that this is a good philosophy to live by.  It is so easy to put a spotlight on things that go wrong or haven't gone right in your life.  I am sure that there are millions of little details that you could say even number of bad experiences or wrong choices.  Here is the thing.  When you only focus on the negative things in your life it is EASY to pick out everything that is not right.  Or just the way that you wish it could be.  Maybe you job is not where you want to be, maybe your relationships have fallen apart and you are down on love or partnership, who knows maybe you made bad or poor decisions that now have you incarcerated.  These are not permanent things.  You will wake up tomorrow and time will keep moving.  You can not make up for 'lost time.'  In fact the only time that you are guaranteed is your time right now.  There will be no "take-backsies."  

So instead of spending your time thinking about all that has gone wrong, why not focus your time on all that has gone right. First of all, reading this post is a great step.  It will give you something to think about and I promise you, if you click on the song title and listen to the song, you will be in a better mood.  If you keep the song in your heart, it will help you re-focus on positive things in your life.  I promise you, you are not alone.  No one, and I mean no one, has been born on this planet that hasn't had to face some adversity.  Everyone faces something; a challenge or some road block.  It is how they choose to navigate those road blocks and challenges which determines the direction that they are going.   It is not rocket science. 

So where do you start if you have no starting line?  Try accentuating all of the positive in your life.  For me, it is easy, My Love, my children, my cat and my family, in that order.  I think about all of the support that I receive from everyone, and I am grateful for all of it.  I think about the renewed relationships and how close and happy My Love is reconnecting a broken connection.  I think about how even the smallest successes make my days easier.  Like today, My Love and I went to this event where you take all of your personal papers/documents and they shred it all for you, at no cost.  It is something that is put on annually by our local government.  Success.  I don't have to shred ALL of that paper and now it is gone and disposed of properly.  It took no time but saved us a lot of time.

Pat yourself on the back more often.  Be your own cheerleader, and be a cheerleader for others as well.  Surround yourself with things that make you feel good and things that level you out.  Smile even when you don't feel like it.  Be silly. Be Kind and spread Joy.




In case you are like me and are terrible at lyrics, here are the lyrics.



Song Lyrics for "Ac-Cent-Tchu-Ate the Positive"

You've got to accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
Latch on to the affirmative
Don't mess with Mister In-Between

You've got to spread joy up to the maximum
Bring gloom down to the minimum
Have faith or pandemonium
Liable to walk upon the scene

To illustrate his last remark
Jonah in the whale, Noah in the ark
What did they do
Just when everything looked so dark

Man, they said we better, accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
Latch on to the affirmative
Don't mess with Mister In-Between
No, do not mess with Mister In-Between

Do you hear me?
Oh, listen to me children and-a you will hear
About the elininatin' of the negative
And the accent on the positive

And gather 'round me children if you're willin'
And sit tight while I start reviewin'
The attitude of doin' right

You've gotta accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
Latch on to the affirmative
Don't mess with Mister In-Between

You've got to spread joy up to the maximum
Bring gloom, down to the minimum
Otherwise pandemonium
Liable to walk upon the scene

To illustrate my last remark
Jonah in the whale, Noah in the ark
What did they say
Say when everything looked so dark

Man, they said we better accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
Latch on to the affirmative
Don't mess with Mister In-Between
No, don't mess with Mister In-Between

​Songwriters: Johnny Mercer / Harold Arlen

So one thing that I am guilty of doing is putting things off until another time, day, week or month.  It is not so much procrastinating as much as it is that I really have to be both in the mood to do something and I need to have the energy.  Since I don't know how I am going to feel on a day-to-day basis, I have to literally plan my days as they go.

So I have a list.  Sometimes the list is written down but most of the time I have a running tally in my head. So here is the problem with both of those options.  The first one, the list, is really great theoretically;  I write it done and check it off when I am done whatever it is that I wanted to get done.  With a list though, I have a tendency to loose my lists.  I misplace them.  And because of my Fibromyalgia, my memory isn't what it used to be.  Which leads me into the other option of keeping a tally in my head.  Bad memory = forgetting and remembering at really inconvenient times.  Frustrating I know.  I will even share my ideas with My Love, and he will sometimes remember, but for the most part he is in his head way more than he needs to be, and doesn't hear me.

So what to I do?  How do I combat my memory issues when the conventional means are not working?  I use a paper calendar and I put things into my phone(with reminders.)  Especially appointments.  If you have something for me to do, and I say sure I will, make sure it is in one of these two places or there is a high chance of me not remembering.

My point is that even though most people do things one way, it doesn't mean that that is the right way for everyone.  With humanity, one size does not fit all.  We need to know ourselves to create our own universe best suited for us.  I am a weirdo, and I relish in that fact.  With life there are tasks that need to get done, and you need to devise the best way to do those tasks.  Today, take a look at your 'To Do' list and do something off of it.  You will feel better when you remove one thing off that list.  It will reduce your stress about the list and will allow you to feel some pride and some happiness as well.

​:)

A day of quiet reflection is something that we all need to do.  Whether you are sitting quietly, listening to music or actually meditating, looking back is a good practice to start.  It is a time that we can remember and set memories.  We can think about all that we have accomplished.  Success is nothing that we need to shy away from.  It is necessary to feel that joy that comes with success.

My personal favourite way of quiet reflection is to has a nice hot bath and listen to music.  Being in the warm to hot water helps with my Fibromyalgia, once I get past the shock to the nerves of the heat.  Having a chronic illness woke me up.  I am unable to do things that used to be super easy before, but because I look back and think about all the things that bring me joy and all of the successes that I have had, it has been preventing me from feeling sorry for myself.  I am practicing and creating a good and healthy mindset which prevents me from falling into the pitfalls of depression.

When you start reflecting, allow your brain to open and acknowledge what you hear/think, and let it wash over you.  Allow you to heal you.  Find a mantra that feels right for you and say it over and over. My mantra is 'Happy Does It.'   Give yourself credit.  Take a deep breath.  If you really want to relax, go on YouTube and find some mindful meditations.  Start slow with 8-10 minutes.  You would be surprised at how better you feel when you connect your mind, body and spirit.

​This post is short for a reason, it is time to reflect.  Until tomorrow...

Anyone who knows me, knows how much I love my cat.  He is just the cutest cat ever.  We adopted him from a nurse that I worked with who was kind enough to take care of him, his mother and all of his sisters.  He is a little snuggle-muffin. We named our cat Bossy Boots.  There was something special about the little milk-moustache, black and white tuxedo-wearing fur demon.  We have had the pleasure of having him in our lives for seven years and we hope to have him with us for many, many more.

My Love and I will occasionally go to the local SPCA and walk the dogs, or pet the kitty cats.  When we go we bring donations for the SPCA, as they always could use things at their shelters. They have a Shelter Wish List.  They are always in need.

When you see animals in pain, injured or abused, if you are like me, the sight rips at your soul.  You see the animal as an innocent sentient being looking for affection and having that trust be broken and abused.  You see an animal that is unable to stand up for itself, and you view the person that perpetrates the abuse as less than human.  These images break my heart.  They change how I feel about humanity.  

But then you watch how the animal with proper care and affection will trust again.  You see the animal find, what I can only imagine, their 'joy' again.  You see humans caring for these animals showing the compassion.  Even if you don't believe animals exhibit love and happiness; there is a notable change in the animals attitude and behaviour.  It is a wonderful thing to see.

So today, if you have a fur buddy or are in the neighbourhood of your local shelter; give a little love and spark some joy for and animal today.  There are reasons out there, science-y reasons why interacting with animals is good for you.  It actually decreases stress and can stabilize some peoples' mood.

Remember do what makes you happy.  BTW.  If you are allergy prone and can not be near furry friends, again, donations are always welcomed.  

We live in a fast world which can consume us if we allow it.  Taking time to tell someone that you appreciate what they are doing or that you appreciate them, is such a small gesture that can change peoples attitudes quite quickly.  It is so awesome to see kindness in action.  People get treated like garbage everyday and it doesn't even matter what industry. Some people are treated this way because of their unfortunate circumstances and the reason for such treatment always lands at the feet of the aggressor.  There is always a better way to convey messages through practiced communication.

I worked in Healthcare, and you would think that people would be halfway decent, but this is not always the case.  I have many incidences that occurred that would make the general public cringe.  But these thirty days are not "Thirty Days of Bitching and Complaining."  Nope.  It is thirty days of happy which is focusing on the positive and feeling awesome.

A simple statement to your cashier about how great they are at their job, or a 'Thank-You', to your server in a restaurant goes a long way.  Sometimes the public can be brutal and spoiled.  We are all humans.  Remember to treat other people as you would like to be treated.  Unless you are a masochist, if so, skip day twelve.  :)

So spread a little happy, and remember we are all human.