The smart person knows how rich they are before they wake in the morning, and after they goes to sleep at night.  Being able to distinguish between true happiness and that of which is superficial is a gift.  We are bombarded with so many items "wants and needs', that most of the time we forget the most important gift given to us from the very moment we take our first breath; the gift of life.  Our time on this planet is now measured in years,days, hours, minutes and seconds.  Somewhere along the human chain of life someone created time, and ever since then we are chasing the opportunity to have just a little more of it.  We are thirsty to create moments and are missing the opportunities to allow the universe to be its wonderful self.  

Day twenty-nine is about opening your eyes and mind to the possibilities of the universe.  Allow it to flow over your soul and take you on you journey of life.  Notice the things that you miss everyday.  See the things that you choose to ignore everyday.  Acknowledge those that you have abandoned and left out of your circle. 

It is so easy to get caught in the wave of time, and before you know it, years have passed and you think that you have missed out on opportunities.  But keep this in mind, you were doing something.  It is regret that keeps the mind and imagination firing, but it is those opportunities that move you.  It is those opportunities that have drawn your attention to do things that you want or need to, and hey, that is called life.  We can not wave a magic wand and erase our lives, but we can smile and look at how far we have come.  

So let us be happy about just that, living our lives.  Be certain that your life matters, and the choices that you made, have made you into the wonderful you.  So many pathways, so many choices, so many different directions and here you are, right where you need to be.  

I know that I have said this one before, but being happy for life and living are perfectly wonderful things to feel happy/grateful.
No one needs to tell you this, if you got this far, you know that this is a ongoing journey.  Where ever it leads, it leads.  That is the happy thought for today.  Don't fear the 'unknown', because it is 'unknown'.  What you have right now, in this moment is your joy.  

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It is time to start sharing things that you have found out about yourself.  Whether you learned that you love sushi or you just like the quiet, it is time to spread your joy to others.  We were taught that to speak about the good things that have happened in our lives somehow diminishes other peoples' happiness.  It was considered 'rude' or you are just 'bragging.'  What I have learned over many years of self-discovery is that in order to truly appreciate how far you've come, you need to share with others.  There are stories out there that you haven't heard yet.  Ones that are about other people's experiences.  When you hear their trials you will realize that we are all in the same game.  We are all trying to have a piece of happy where ever we can find it.  It will also open your eyes and destroy the stories that you have told yourself about how everyone else is doing. 

I tell you this not for bragging rights or to make others feel bad, but to help you understand that we are all taking the journey of life, and the 'perfect' journey doesn't exist nor should it.  Having difficulties builds character?  Well I don't think that it builds character.  What it does do is it allows other parts of your own personality to shine through.  Perhaps a little courage that you remember from a long time ago has now made an appearance, and that is completely awesome.  We are a resilient species.  We have been on this planet for many thousands of years.  Those thousands of years of human DNA allow us to adapt to many different situations.  This applies to finding your happiness.  We adjust, we adapt and we find the situations that are best suited for our needs.  

So on day twenty-eight, share your experiences the good, the bad and the indifferent.  Talk things through with people that you have created your 'self made measuring stick' from, and compare your life to theirs.  I bet that as rosy as you think it is, there is always something that will make you throw away that measuring stick.  Keeping up with anyone is ridiculous.  You are your own best champion.  Look how far you have come and be proud of your successes. 

​Find your happy.

Listen to yourself.  There is no one who knows you better.  I find that most of the time my first instinct is the right choice or the right decision.  It is when I doubt myself that I end up compromising; which leads me to do something that I don't want to do.  When you ignore you basic instinct, you are ignoring a part of you.  You are essentially telling a part of you that you are not good enough.  So listen to that little voice.

Like yesterday for example, I was going to write a post for day twenty-seven, but my heart wasn't in it.  I tried to put my fingers on the keyboard, but I knew that whatever I wrote, it wouldn't be genuine.  I like to be authentic. I like being authentic.  It wasn't always like this .  When you lack confidence you are short changing yourself.  So make sure that the time is right and be honest.

There are going to be times in this world, many many times that you are going to hurt someones feelings.  Remember that that is not a reflection on you, it is a reflection on them.  They need to look closely at themselves and figure out why, when you do not do what they want, why is it their issue.  That is not on you.

I know it sounds harsh, but one of the reasons that I believe that there are so many neurotic people out there is that they haven't learned how to say no, but more importantly, why saying no is crucial to your well being.  If of course it is something that you do not want to do.  You need to look out for yourself.  Am I saying to be completely selfish, no, I am not.  What I am saying is that it is okay to say no once in a while.  Sometimes your dependability is something of a crutch for others and their reliance on you is actually crippling them.  

People need to learn how to cope without having someone else assist.  You need to know how to take care of yourself.  Once you have mastered that, you are able to be completely okay and honest with everyone with whom you interact.

Some people love them, some hate them, while others don't care either way.  Some call them snuggles, some call the hugs, while others call it inappropriate touching.  After all there are some people who can not tolerate being touched by anyone, minimum touching is perfect for them.  All of these things are true, and each are perfectly alright.  No judgement, none at all.

I love hugs, sometimes.  With my illness sometimes a hug really hurt me, it is extremely painful, but I don't tell the person hugging me.  When I do they always feel bad, so I keep it to myself.  I also enjoy snuggling.  I will snuggle with My Love, I will snuggle with my daughters, but most importantly I snuggle with my black and white tuxedo cat.  There is a therapeutic component to hugging.  It reduces stress, plus there is the added bonus of feeling loved and close to someone. 

When your feeling blue, or even happy hug someone.  I know that during one of my therapy sessions the suggestion of rubbing my forearm to calm myself down when I feel anxious, was extremely helpful.  It concentrates your focus on rubbing the forearm, while self-soothing. Two for one!  I;ll take that  any day.

So today, seek out and hug someone.  Show them love; give it, receive it.  It will make you day less hectic.  

Smile, laugh, love, enjoy and always strive for happy.
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Instant gratification.  Two words that should be never be used together ever again.  The beauty and eloquence of a hand written love letter, the enjoyment of saving and purchasing something you really wanted or the magical moments of good conversation that holds your attention, seem to be things that have been lost in this technological era.  The juicy bits of communicating with someone who has that certain 'je ne sais quoi', should be timeless.  Being next to a fire and holding hands, looking into someones eyes and knowing that you are in the safest place that you could ever be, is something that is again, timeless.  You wouldn't rush up to someone, sit them down next to a fire and look into their eyes without having or feeling some sort of a connection.  It would be awkward. 

I honestly am happy I do not have to date anymore.  It seems to be so impersonal now.  Years ago a person who dared to find 'love' via the personal ads in the newspaper was considered weird.  Not that they were, but it just wasn't a normalized way of meeting someone new.  And now meeting someone is like putting an order in  for something you want to buy, size, shape, colour, religion, like and dislikes, and so on and so forth.  It is a very impersonal way of meeting someone.  But it does work for a lot of people.  I guess I am just an old fashioned girl, and having someone read me poetry on a blanket; write me love letters telling me how geography was his worst subject, and singing together in perfect harmony while we drive absolutely nowhere.  I am not knocking people for meeting their spouses or lovers online; it is just not something for me.   

I think that being able to get things at the tip of our fingers has spoiled a generation and will spoil generations to come.  Some things in life need to be enjoyed patiently.  Like eating.  We don't take time to really enjoy food, and we shove food down our gullet.  Next time you eat, take your time.  Feel the texture of the food in your mouth.  See how many flavours you taste.  Enjoy your food.

On day twenty-five you should try to enjoy your surroundings.  You should appreciate the little things and try to avoid instant gratification.  Try using instant gratification as a 'in case shit, break glass', scenario. Slow your pace down; you see more and miss less.

The quote below is from Judith Wright.  {If you would like to learn more about her, just click on her name}

Sometimes I find that my brain will not shut down.  Which is terrible and causes me to stay up late at night, and even though  I am completely exhausted, my brain refuses to let me go to sleep.  Years ago I would stay up because I was a complete night owl.  I just slept most of the morning and stayed up as late as possible.

Then in my late twenties, I would be up late because I was worried about everything.  Even the smallest thing would make me pace the floor.  I was in my twenties trying to solve the universes problems, with no instruction booklet.  Of course, I am older now and I know that it was never as dire as it felt.

Worrying is something that we all do at some point.  It is distracting and will cause you grief.  It is better to be honest with yourself and face your problems.  Coming up with complete and manageable goals will not only be helpful but it will give you clarity.  We all need to see things clearly, our sleep depends on it.

We all do things differently, but we all worry in the exact same way.  Moving forward, no matter how small you move, gives your brain something to chew on.  A little chew toy to keep your brain occupied.  

I will write everything down (mostly because my memory is terrible) to have a template to what needs to be addressed.  And then I will do something off the list.  It doesn't work all the time, but it is a start.

In 1988 a songwriter by the name of Robert J McFerrin wrote a little ditty, that either drove your crazy or possessed your brain for a while as an ear worm.   You will find that song here.  I recommend you listen to it, even just for a moment.  :)

How can I get to day twenty-three and only now mention children?  It wasn't that difficult.  I have two wonderful, yet unique to themselves, daughters.  Each has their own personalities, but I love them both.  We have what you would call a modern day family.  Four people, each with different last names, but love flows between all of us.  Family is the people you hold closest to your heart.  They accept you when you are at your lowest; they cheer you at your highest and they are always there for you as you are for them.

Family doesn't have to be blood,  It can be a group of individuals that share the same interests and have a common love for each other.  It  could be a group of individuals that have gone through trauma together.  There are so many factors.  I feel lucky that I have the family that I do.  I love them all.  Everyone, including myself come with our own instruction manual, but after you've read it a few times you begin to understand that that is what makes family great.  We all know and recognize the limits that we each have, and respect boundaries.  

I watched a news cast the other week, there was a story about a pair of loons that adopted a baby duckling and are raising it as their own.  If nature can do this generous action, then surely we can do the same thing. 

Hold onto your family, keep you loved ones close and communicate how you feel about them.  Leave no conversation unspoken. Since we know nothing about an afterlife, lets assume now is the only time that words will be spoken.  I know I express my love to my family always; even annoyingly so.  And I don't care if my girls are embarrassed about how much I love and cherish them.  That is what mothers do.

Be kind, love always, and for gosh sake, Smile!  :)  And when necessary, be a loon.

Doing what is right is never the easiest thing to do.  This may sound cliché to some but I believe that anything worth having is worth working for.  And this includes standing up for yourself; knowing that conflict will arise.  It is easy to go with the flow and not ruffle too many feathers, but when you do this you loose yourself and your own identity.  

I personally hate conflict.  It brings up so much anxiety inside me, that I will be sick to my stomach.  Oh no, maybe not right away, but I pay for it all later on.  The only comfort that I can have is knowing that what I am doing is the right thing.  People will treat you the way that you allow them; so if you let them walk all over you, you are not doing yourself any favours.

Today, My Love and I had to do something that has been coming a long time.  There is a particular, let's say 'evil force', that is destroying our peaceful lives, and we both decided enough was enough.  Together went went and filed court documents against this said 'evil force', and from the moment I did it, I haven't felt at ease, but I know exactly why.  I don't like conflict, so I put up with a lot of grief from many unpleasant angles.  But I too have a limit, but the action has to be egregious.  You have to cross a boundary, of being amoral or just an overall awful human being.  Most people have no idea what they unleash when they get full on focused, pissed off me.  Years ago I would be super emotional when I was upset, but now I am scary calm, and very logical.  My brain will focus on ways to end it, in my favour, every time.  

I firmly believe that when you feel in every part of your body, mind and spirit that what you are doing is the right thing, then it is.  I associate my own moral compass to being tethered to the ground.  I had some excellent people in my life that have strongly influenced how I behave and how I will not behave.   I had to grow up pretty fast so I didn't have a normal childhood.  But I am not the only person who hasn't had an ideal upbringing.  It's alright.  It made my soul age a little faster then most of my peers.  I knew and appreciated how precious life is at the age of ten, and how stupid to me it was that people would be concerned with so many things that didn't mean anything.  I was kind of an odd-ball.  I tried to fit in, but I never felt comfortable.  I never felt at home.  There was no one that really understood me, sure they could sympathize, but they didn't understand.

It wasn't until I was a teenager that I realized that all teenagers feel the way that I was feeling when I was ten.  Kind of interesting.  It all comes full circle.  So now, many years later, I stand up for myself.  I will contest any bully and I will not be anyone's victim. 

Doing the right this is a concept that needs to have a comeback.  Stand up to bullies, but understand that they are that way because they know no other way of being.  Empathize with them.  Don't let them win, defeat them with compassion

You will be alright.  Being happy requires a balance of many aspects of you life.  Conflict is just one small part.  Remember you are your own wonderful self.  You deserve to have the world know you.  :o)