No intro this week. After the past two weeks, I’m going to just relax and enjoy the games. I’m still a bit annoyed at the way the media have handled the NFL’s troubles over the past few weeks, but I haven’t decided how I’m going to address that yet. In the meantime, a promise: I have gone 10-6 each of the first three weeks of this season, but I absolutely guarantee that I won’t this week.
Thursday Night
Giants at Washington
Elisha looked good for the first time this season in last week’s game, but I have a sneaking suspicion that his and the Giants’ success against the Texans had a lot to do with Ryan Fitzpatrick not living up to his primary responsibility as Houston’s QB; to wit: Don’t Shit the Bed. After last week’s performance in Philadelphia, Kirk Cousins (30 for 48, 427 yards, 3 TDs) may be hastening the end of the RGIII era in Washington, and the beginning of the, oh, I don’t know, KC and the Sunshine Band era? (I know; needs work.) Funny how Jay Gruden doesn’t seem too upset. Winner: Washington
Sunday
Packers at Bears
You know, Aaron Rodgers and Jay Cutler are quite similar, skills-wise. Both are strong-armed, mobile, throw well from the pocket or while on the move. The big difference that everyone focuses on is in demeanour; Rodgers, the smiling, “Discount Double-Check”-ing, Hanz and Franz-ing, photo bombing, good guy, vs. the scowling, pissy-faced Cutler. I love watching both of them. The actual difference that matters right now though, is that while Rodgers tells Packers’ fans to “R-E-L-A-X,” it’s Cutler who has the superior weapons at the receiver positions. Oh, and Marc Trestman is a better coach than Mike McCarthy. If I were a Packer fan, I would W-O-R-R-Y, because your team has a good chance to be 1-3 with two division losses. Winner: Bears
Thursday Night
Giants at Washington
Elisha looked good for the first time this season in last week’s game, but I have a sneaking suspicion that his and the Giants’ success against the Texans had a lot to do with Ryan Fitzpatrick not living up to his primary responsibility as Houston’s QB; to wit: Don’t Shit the Bed. After last week’s performance in Philadelphia, Kirk Cousins (30 for 48, 427 yards, 3 TDs) may be hastening the end of the RGIII era in Washington, and the beginning of the, oh, I don’t know, KC and the Sunshine Band era? (I know; needs work.) Funny how Jay Gruden doesn’t seem too upset. Winner: Washington
Sunday
Packers at Bears
You know, Aaron Rodgers and Jay Cutler are quite similar, skills-wise. Both are strong-armed, mobile, throw well from the pocket or while on the move. The big difference that everyone focuses on is in demeanour; Rodgers, the smiling, “Discount Double-Check”-ing, Hanz and Franz-ing, photo bombing, good guy, vs. the scowling, pissy-faced Cutler. I love watching both of them. The actual difference that matters right now though, is that while Rodgers tells Packers’ fans to “R-E-L-A-X,” it’s Cutler who has the superior weapons at the receiver positions. Oh, and Marc Trestman is a better coach than Mike McCarthy. If I were a Packer fan, I would W-O-R-R-Y, because your team has a good chance to be 1-3 with two division losses. Winner: Bears
Bills at Texans
Lots of similarities here, with the two good defences, the strong running games, and the shaky QBs. Normally, with a matchup this close, I’d just pick the home team, but I feel like Ryan Fitzpatrick’s performance last week (3 INTs and a fumble) is a harbinger of things to come. The Bills’ depth at RB trumps Arian Foster’s fragility, too. Winner: Bills
Titans at Colts
After a rough couple of weeks, Indy’s defence might be just the break Jake Locker needs to regain some of his mojo. Still, it’ll hardly be enough against Andrew Luck. Winner: Colts
Panthers at Ravens
This is a good matchup for Joe Flacco, as the weak link in the Panthers’ strong defence is the secondary. I love Cam Newton, but I hate watching him struggle through injury. It might be time to sit him down, for his and the team’s sake. Winner: Ravens
Lions at Jets
When Detroit’s defensive front is playing well, you have to have a plan to throw the ball that involves getting the ball out quickly and accurately. I don’t like Geno Smith’s chances, and if the Jets make the switch to Vick (as a lot of people are saying is imminent), well, he’s not the most accurate passer either. Winner: Lions
Buccaneers at Steelers
I tried to watch last Thursday’s game between the Bucs and the Falcons, but Tampa’s performance was an affront to my delicate football-loving sensibilities, so I didn’t make it through to the end. They’re facing the Steelers in Pittsburgh. Winner: Steelers
Dolphins “at” Raiders (in Jolly-Olde England)
Things I like: Oakland rookie QB Derek Carr, the Raiders’ defence. Things I don’t like: Miami Head Coach Joe Philbin, Joe Philbin, Miami Head Coach. Not to put too fine a point on it, but Joe Philbin, you stink. Here’s a news flash for you: In the history of the NFL, there are teams that have done just fine with QBs that were not as good as Aaron Rodgers or Brett Favre. None of these teams were coached by you, though. That you are still employed by the Miami Dolphins is a very strong indicator of how far this once-proud franchise has fallen. Winner: Raiders
Jaguars at Chargers
One of my toughest decisions last week was picking San Diego in Buffalo, due to injuries to RB Ryan Matthews (did not play) and WR Keenan Allen (played). I needn’t have worried, and Chargers fans needn’t worry this week as the lowly Jags come to town. Winner: Chargers
Falcons at Vikings
Easy pick, right? Atlanta has the NFL’s number one offence in both scoring and yards and is AVERAGING almost 18 more points per game than Minnesota. Nope. Feels wrong. Feels like a trap. The Falcons’ stats are abnormally inflated due to last week’s 56-point, 488- yard explosion against the terrible Buccaneers. Matt Ryan has a history of looking like a hall of famer at home and stinking it up on the road, and Atlanta’s offence was easily held in check when they visited Cincinnati two weeks ago. Plus, how good is rookie QB Teddy Bridgewater? I don’t follow the college game, but I know he’s mobile, has a good arm, and was good enough to be taken in the first round of the draft. Not that it’s my thing, but I guess I’m making this my upset special of the week. Winner: Vikings
Lots of similarities here, with the two good defences, the strong running games, and the shaky QBs. Normally, with a matchup this close, I’d just pick the home team, but I feel like Ryan Fitzpatrick’s performance last week (3 INTs and a fumble) is a harbinger of things to come. The Bills’ depth at RB trumps Arian Foster’s fragility, too. Winner: Bills
Titans at Colts
After a rough couple of weeks, Indy’s defence might be just the break Jake Locker needs to regain some of his mojo. Still, it’ll hardly be enough against Andrew Luck. Winner: Colts
Panthers at Ravens
This is a good matchup for Joe Flacco, as the weak link in the Panthers’ strong defence is the secondary. I love Cam Newton, but I hate watching him struggle through injury. It might be time to sit him down, for his and the team’s sake. Winner: Ravens
Lions at Jets
When Detroit’s defensive front is playing well, you have to have a plan to throw the ball that involves getting the ball out quickly and accurately. I don’t like Geno Smith’s chances, and if the Jets make the switch to Vick (as a lot of people are saying is imminent), well, he’s not the most accurate passer either. Winner: Lions
Buccaneers at Steelers
I tried to watch last Thursday’s game between the Bucs and the Falcons, but Tampa’s performance was an affront to my delicate football-loving sensibilities, so I didn’t make it through to the end. They’re facing the Steelers in Pittsburgh. Winner: Steelers
Dolphins “at” Raiders (in Jolly-Olde England)
Things I like: Oakland rookie QB Derek Carr, the Raiders’ defence. Things I don’t like: Miami Head Coach Joe Philbin, Joe Philbin, Miami Head Coach. Not to put too fine a point on it, but Joe Philbin, you stink. Here’s a news flash for you: In the history of the NFL, there are teams that have done just fine with QBs that were not as good as Aaron Rodgers or Brett Favre. None of these teams were coached by you, though. That you are still employed by the Miami Dolphins is a very strong indicator of how far this once-proud franchise has fallen. Winner: Raiders
Jaguars at Chargers
One of my toughest decisions last week was picking San Diego in Buffalo, due to injuries to RB Ryan Matthews (did not play) and WR Keenan Allen (played). I needn’t have worried, and Chargers fans needn’t worry this week as the lowly Jags come to town. Winner: Chargers
Falcons at Vikings
Easy pick, right? Atlanta has the NFL’s number one offence in both scoring and yards and is AVERAGING almost 18 more points per game than Minnesota. Nope. Feels wrong. Feels like a trap. The Falcons’ stats are abnormally inflated due to last week’s 56-point, 488- yard explosion against the terrible Buccaneers. Matt Ryan has a history of looking like a hall of famer at home and stinking it up on the road, and Atlanta’s offence was easily held in check when they visited Cincinnati two weeks ago. Plus, how good is rookie QB Teddy Bridgewater? I don’t follow the college game, but I know he’s mobile, has a good arm, and was good enough to be taken in the first round of the draft. Not that it’s my thing, but I guess I’m making this my upset special of the week. Winner: Vikings

Eagles at 49ers
San Fran struggled mightily last week against a Cardinals defence that, while good, is but a shadow of what it was last season due to injuries. Now, with the high-powered Philly offence coming to town, the pressure is really on Colin Kaepernick to start playing at a level commensurate with his paycheque. Don’t worry about old Kaep, though; if his team falls to 1-3 (0-2 at home) with him behind center, at least he has a couple of rooms full of shoes to console him. Winner: Eagles
Saints at Cowboys
The Rams’ anaemic offence really came alive last week against the Cowboys’ defence. Saints fans are probably hoping that an afternoon of playing pitch-and-catch against Dallas’s secondary is just what the doctor ordered for Drew Brees and Co. With Tony Romo gradually finding his groove again, this has the makings for a fireworks display. Winner: Saints
Monday Night
Patriots at Chiefs
Arrowhead is one of, if not the, loudest stadiums in the NFL, a potential nightmare for the Pats considering how porous its offensive line has been. This game will be closer than most might think, but New England’s defence is getting better every week, and will stymie KC. Winner: Patriots
San Fran struggled mightily last week against a Cardinals defence that, while good, is but a shadow of what it was last season due to injuries. Now, with the high-powered Philly offence coming to town, the pressure is really on Colin Kaepernick to start playing at a level commensurate with his paycheque. Don’t worry about old Kaep, though; if his team falls to 1-3 (0-2 at home) with him behind center, at least he has a couple of rooms full of shoes to console him. Winner: Eagles
Saints at Cowboys
The Rams’ anaemic offence really came alive last week against the Cowboys’ defence. Saints fans are probably hoping that an afternoon of playing pitch-and-catch against Dallas’s secondary is just what the doctor ordered for Drew Brees and Co. With Tony Romo gradually finding his groove again, this has the makings for a fireworks display. Winner: Saints
Monday Night
Patriots at Chiefs
Arrowhead is one of, if not the, loudest stadiums in the NFL, a potential nightmare for the Pats considering how porous its offensive line has been. This game will be closer than most might think, but New England’s defence is getting better every week, and will stymie KC. Winner: Patriots