03-02-11  Tonight, my family celebrated Chinese New Year 2011, The Year of the Hare.  It was really nice.  My mother brought some delicious food and we all sat down and enjoyed a wonderful meal.  This is not the first time that we did this and probably will not be the last. 

You see, when George and I lived in Cape Breton,  we also celebrated Chinese New Year.  It turns out that he and I have the same ideas when it comes to allowing our daugthers to experience different cultures.  In true George fashion, we had in-depth information regarding some of the traditions that coincide with this holiday, and we turned it into a teaching experience for our kids.  I got on board and provided the necessities for the experience. They loved it.  The Chinese traditions are family oriented and so are George and I.  They have a great focus on gatherings with family and enjoying quailty time together.  Plus, it doesn't hurt to eat some things a little out of your normal cuisines.

When people try things new that they have never done before, it is much better when you have people to share the experience with.  In our case, it was an experience with those that we love the most. 

Anyhow, tonight, I decorated with red and gold; had a lucky banner and to complete the affair, we bought a gold bunny with a red ribbon around its neck.  Aside from the gastronomical experience, we also included fortune cookies.  We played a game and then we ended the evening. 

The point I am trying to make is that sometimes you should travel outside your comfort zone, in order to experience something new.  We didn't travel far, not even outside our own home, but we did enjoy what we did.  Try different foods.  Experience different cultures.  Sure, mashed potatoes and roast beef are extra yummy, but so is Thai food, Sushi(yum), and Indian Food.  You do not have to leave the country to learn about other cultures; you could read about them on the internet or get a book from the library.  Any way you look at it, any quality time you spend with your family is better than anything, and it pays off in dividends.  GREAT MEMORIES!!

Happy Does It!

02-02-11 Love.  Sometimes it is something that just stands right up and wallops you in the face, other times it is as annoying as the tick, tick, ticking of a clock.  Either way, it is always inconvenient and happens at either the most opportune time ~or~ inopportune time.  Everyone who has ever truly been in love knows this to be so.  Ask them; their stories usually start out the same way: “I wasn’t really looking for anything and then it just happened,”  or, "I had decided that love wasn’t going to find me so I convinced myself that this would never happen, and then it did.” I want there to be an understanding; even though you are married, that doesn’t mean that you are in love.  Even though you have had several children with a mate, that doesn’t mean you are in love.

Love is an absolute openness between two people.  It is when you both occupy the same space and it is not even a bit crowded.  Love allows you to be yourself without reserve.  Love is a feeling of completeness and wholeness.  When I was young, I would have thought what I am saying right now is a bunch of self-righteous crap, but being who I am now, I know this to be true.  You see, I am in love.  I love my husband more and more each day.  Although our moods may determine what type of day we will have, my love for him is still as strong as it was before, even more.  We have this connection that I have never experienced before.  It is on a basic level, but is a level that I guess I needed in my partner.  George is strong.  He is highly intelligent to a fault.  He is caring and he loves me.  He loves me.  Who I am.  All of my flaws and imperfections (there aren’t many).  He strives to be better, has conviction and questions life.  He is spiritual (although most would never see this part of him) and he loves his friends.  This is not my dating game. This is my husband.

When I got married, I took a vow.  I believe in that sacred vow.  I did not marry so I would be married.  I did not get married because that was the proper thing to do. I don’t think I have done a proper thing in my life; why on earth would a start now.   I did not marry George for his money. (although sometimes I question my morals: “Hey you brain, again explain to me why I didn’t marry for money”...oh yeah I feel in love...grrrr....stupid love)  Ever since I was small, anytime I would go into a church, I would feel a presence.  Perhaps it is the collective belief of the congregation; or perhaps it is the peaceful feeling I get every time I go. Nevertheless, I feel that there is a force that is held inside those walls, one without judgement, and it is the place that I can truly reveal myself and be truthful.  With that in mind, in July of 2004, I walked down an aisle and I made a vow to George, in a place that I know that I can be truthful, and I meant every word.  How many people can say that? 

I have watched so called “perfect couples” disintegrate into nothing.  At least that is how I believed the couple to be `perfect.’  We are all so envious of everyone else around us we fail to realize that we are envied as well.  We all have these vivid imaginations that build up these stories around these “perfect couples” that when they fall, we are shocked and dismayed.  If you listen to them, hear their stories, you will understand that their bond was not made of a partnership.  It really does take two to have and build a relationship. For example:   If you have a husband that is so focused on his career that he fails to realize that his wife is lacking the attention that she so desperately needs, please sir, do not be surprised and angry when she seeks refuge with another man.  Trust me.  He is giving her what she needs.  Or, a couple who have been married for years who still have separate bank accounts to pay the bills; you guys have major trust issues.  "For Richer or for Poorer."

I love the saying jumping in with both feet.  I think that that is the way that you should treat your relationships.  What in God’s name do you have to lose?  As long as you are true to yourself, you will have very minimal regrets.  Love is out there for everyone.  You have to be willing to receive it. 

And As Always...

Happy Does It!

01-02-11  Here goes month two.  Have you ever gone into a zone that allowed you to do something that completely stops time?  It may have been writing, reading, painting, driving, but you were doing something that allowed your internal self to take over .

The zone.  I love being there. It is like you are completely at peace and the world is just spinning around you.  I go into this zone practically everytime I sing or when I listen to music that completely moves me.  You know what I am talking about, those songs that you hear and there is a note, a word, a beat, that completely touches your soul.  It reminds you of your childhood; or a lover that you had many years ago; it could be a day that you had gone swimming with your friends, something so perfect.  It is yours. You know.  Memories are double-edged swords. They can bring back feelings of joy, fear, jubilation, love, hate, anger; it is all how it is stored in your head.  An example of this could be a smell.  I myself have memories that are triggered by a certain smell of aftershave.  This memory is a good one.  

So, how is it that you can remain happy if all the memories that you have are not so good ones and they are crowded together making your life miserable?  Well, just like they do with your junk in a house, it is time to organize your brain.  You need to acknowledge things in your life that have caused you pain.  Really.  Look yourself right in the eyes and say to yourself that you will no longer be held a prisoner and you are going to release this bad memory and drain the power that it has over you.  You are going to take control of your life and you are going to decide whether or not you are going to be trapped in your head.  You have the power to overcome.  If this was not true, well, the human race would have been destroyed years ago.  We are resilient.  We have to be.  We need to survive by being whole.  When you are completely whole and true to yourself, you are self-aware and aware of everything that is around you. You have an ability to understand people better and this allows you to navigate through any difficult times that you come across. 

I really hate to over-use a word, but to be truly happy, whole and complete, you need to have balance, and to be able to balance life.  Live for what is good, love with all of yourself and try to be a good person.  Live within this world and take advantage of things that are around you.  Stop believing that the grass is greener somewhere else. I can guarentee you that where you are right now, at this point, is that greener side that someone else is striving to be.  You are a gift, you have a gift, and that gift is life and love.  I love you and I don't know who you are, but I know that I love you.  You are allowing yourself to be open enough to read this blog, so for that, you at least are willing to experience new things. 

Let's leave the past in the past.  Accept that you are not that person anymore; you can not be. You have experienced more things and have learned new things. You, I am going to tell you, have changed.  Holding onto grudges eats away at your soul.  I personally would rather live right now and use all of myself to make my present time be the best that it can be.  When I die, I fully intend to not have any stress lines on my face.  I imagine being content and having those lovely laugh lines, crevased into my eyes.  I will not be sad that I did not get to the perfect weight, or looked absolutely beautiful, because I know that I am beautiful, now and in my future.  This is not being conceited it is being true.  My soul is content.  My heart is full.  I have many things I still would love to experience, but my inner being is content.

Happy Does It!