Make good choices!
I want to live a good, long, happy life. Who doesn’t?
Stay healthy. It’s tough sometimes, but you just have to have the discipline to make the right decisions, to do the right things and avoid the wrong things. No matter how difficult, the effort will pay off in the end.
It’s pretty simple, really. It’s just common sense. Eat healthy, exercise, stay fit. Avoid putting bad things into your body, like alcohol and drugs, tobacco, caffeine, fatty foods. Stay in a healthy frame of mind. Avoid stressful situations and try not to get angry.
Wait, though. Did you know that anger can be healthy? I’m sure I read somewhere recently that expressing your anger can be therapeutic. If you don’t believe me, you can look it up. So, you know, make sure you take that into consideration.
Oh, and being overweight has several health benefits. No, really; look it up. If you’re a little overweight, you are more likely to live longer. Good to know.
You should probably try to find the time to drink some wine every day. Oh, and coffee, too. Both have been found to provide the human body with things that promote a more healthy state of being. It’s true. I mean, don’t you read? The facts are out there. They’ve done studies and everything.
In your quest for good health, you might want to consider smoking the occasional joint. Marijuana has been proven, PROVEN, to be useful in providing stress-relief, as a pain-management drug, and as a treatment for Glaucoma, among other things. I swear, I’m not making this up.
Speaking of smoking, the odd cigarette will probably help you live longer. The tar in smoked tobacco has been shown to stimulate the production of antibodies in the lungs which are important for fighting infections, and some doctors have even prescribed cigarettes as a remedy for chronic low blood pressure.
Bacon, long thought to be extremely unhealthy, can promote an overall sense of physical, mental, and emotional well-being, and it has been found to stimulate a healthy, manageable level of blood flow to the extremities.
So, like I said, maintain your discipline, and do the right things so that you too can live a healthy life. Make sure that you smoke, drink, do drugs, let yourself go a little, get angry, and eat bacon.
I’ve heard it said that there are three levels of lying: lies, damn lies, and statistics. I also remember someone saying once that statistics were like double agents, in that they could be made to lie for both sides of an argument. Some of the things I wrote above are things that I’ve actually heard, and, I must confess, some of them I just made up on the spot. I know which are which, but I don’t know how true any of them are.
They all sound kind of plausible though, don’t they? I guess you’ll have to separate the wheat from the chaff on your own.
Whatever you do, don’t believe me. Look it up.
Stay healthy. It’s tough sometimes, but you just have to have the discipline to make the right decisions, to do the right things and avoid the wrong things. No matter how difficult, the effort will pay off in the end.
It’s pretty simple, really. It’s just common sense. Eat healthy, exercise, stay fit. Avoid putting bad things into your body, like alcohol and drugs, tobacco, caffeine, fatty foods. Stay in a healthy frame of mind. Avoid stressful situations and try not to get angry.
Wait, though. Did you know that anger can be healthy? I’m sure I read somewhere recently that expressing your anger can be therapeutic. If you don’t believe me, you can look it up. So, you know, make sure you take that into consideration.
Oh, and being overweight has several health benefits. No, really; look it up. If you’re a little overweight, you are more likely to live longer. Good to know.
You should probably try to find the time to drink some wine every day. Oh, and coffee, too. Both have been found to provide the human body with things that promote a more healthy state of being. It’s true. I mean, don’t you read? The facts are out there. They’ve done studies and everything.
In your quest for good health, you might want to consider smoking the occasional joint. Marijuana has been proven, PROVEN, to be useful in providing stress-relief, as a pain-management drug, and as a treatment for Glaucoma, among other things. I swear, I’m not making this up.
Speaking of smoking, the odd cigarette will probably help you live longer. The tar in smoked tobacco has been shown to stimulate the production of antibodies in the lungs which are important for fighting infections, and some doctors have even prescribed cigarettes as a remedy for chronic low blood pressure.
Bacon, long thought to be extremely unhealthy, can promote an overall sense of physical, mental, and emotional well-being, and it has been found to stimulate a healthy, manageable level of blood flow to the extremities.
So, like I said, maintain your discipline, and do the right things so that you too can live a healthy life. Make sure that you smoke, drink, do drugs, let yourself go a little, get angry, and eat bacon.
I’ve heard it said that there are three levels of lying: lies, damn lies, and statistics. I also remember someone saying once that statistics were like double agents, in that they could be made to lie for both sides of an argument. Some of the things I wrote above are things that I’ve actually heard, and, I must confess, some of them I just made up on the spot. I know which are which, but I don’t know how true any of them are.
They all sound kind of plausible though, don’t they? I guess you’ll have to separate the wheat from the chaff on your own.
Whatever you do, don’t believe me. Look it up.
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