31-01-11 - I can honestly say I have great, no, fantastic friends.  I love to laugh.  A lot of my great memories are thanks to my friends.  Have you ever been with someone and laughed so hard that you never wanted it to end?

I have personally been through a lot in my life.  I believe that I had to grow up pretty quick at a young age.  By the time that I reached twenty, I know that I had been through more than most adults that I knew.  Finding great friends is something  I had truoble doing.  I have major trust issues.  I have trouble confiding  in people and being completely open with them.  As a matter of fact,  it takes a lot out of me to trust.  I have had really bad experiences with betrayal in my life.  A lot of my problems were caused by stupid decisions made by me.
 
 When you are young, you want everyone to like you, but the reality of it all is, if you can keep those friends when they see who you truly are, well they are friends.  Most people we refer to as friends are actually acquaintances. 

More common in life are aquaintances.  We have many.  They are those people that you go out with on occasion or hang out with just so you don't have to be alone.  To be alone is a concept that is completely unnatural to the human race.  We surround ourselves with so much stimulus.  The cause and effect of this:  we blame our children for being a little hyperactive and force medication down their throats; we are unable to communicate with one another, and conversations are mere  letters and symbols.  Ah, excuse me, but I was not born in Egypt over 2000 years ago; heiroglyphics are not things that mean anything to me.  I am not really into the whole texting thing.  I think that it is rather boring. I prefer to talk to someone. 

This, I know, makes me sound like an old, cranky woman, but to be honest, I am just a little cranky at the fact that we are raising a whole bunch of potential idiots, who will devolve the english language into oblivion.  I love the written word, and I much appreciate great words.  Actually, I have been known to announce, "That's a great/fantastic word", when someone uses a word that impresses me.

Back to my friends.  I have extremely intelligent friends.  They would have to be, in order for me to allow them in my presence.  (I am smiling while I write this)  Our conversations usually consist of making fun of life.  That is the best way to have it really; making fun of life.  How many of you wander around completely miserable because you have made some choices that did not work out?  Well, you are not alone.  Most of us feel this way. The key is to figure out if you want it to ruin your life ~or~ would you prefer to let it help you laugh a little harder at life. 

At the end of this month, let us raise a glass to having a great sense of humour and to not taking life too seriously. 

Happy Does it!

P.S.:  I do apologise for not blogging every day.  This is a goal that I am trying to keep;  but as George always tells me, "Man Plans, God laughs".  No matter how hard we try, life will always throw us a curve ball.

NOW ONTO FEBRUARY!!!

22-01-11  On a cold winter's, day nothing seems to warm you up better than a hot bowl of soup {or a cup of cocoa}.  My grandfather has been making soup in Glace Bay, Nova Scotia for a long time.  His dedication to making soup perhaps is what inspired me to make soups.

I love making soup.  I can make up a pot of chicken soup, I think, with my eyes closed.  It is the intimacy of making a home-cooked meal that creates the experience for you and your family.  I love the time with my family.  For some reason, it really does seem like we enter a portal, and time just stands still.  There are many activities that we do, but really anything will do for us.  Our favourite times is when we have everyone together.

Like soup, my family has a great base.  We have love and lots of it.  We also have plenty of ingredients too.  I think that there is a few nuts in there just to keep things interesting.  Lots of life to spice it up, too.

Homemade Chicken Soup
1 chicken carcass (make sure that there is still some meat left on it)
6 cups of water
1/2 cup chopped onions
1 cup coined carrots
1 cup frozen beans or peas (whatever you prefer)
2 cloves of garlic crushed/or finely chopped
1/4 tsp pepper
1 tsp mustard seed
2 pkg chicken bouillon
pinch of salt (optional)
1/2 cup  noodles of your choice.  (I like to use spaghetti noodles and break them into smaller pieces)

 Make sure you have enough water to cover the chicken completely.  If it is more than 6 cups that is fine. Bring water and chicken carcass to a rolling boil.  Reduce heat and allow to boil until the meat begins to fall off bones. 

Put a collander in a second pot. Pour the water and chicken carcass into the collander.  Be careful not to burn yourself.  Set chicken aside on a plate to cool.  Bring water again to a boil.  Add onion, garlic, pepper, mustard seed, salt and chicken bouillon. Cook until onions are soft, approximately 15 minutes.   While onions are cooking, carefully remove the meat from the bones.  Be careful not to get any of the little bones.  Add chicken to water when separated.  Add carrots. Allow the carrots to cook for about 15 min until you are able to put a fork through.  Add beans/peas.  Please note:  the temperature of your chicken soup will drop because of the frozen veggies.  Allow water to boil once more.  Add noodles.  Cook for another 10 minutes.

There you have it.  A great pot of chicken soup.

Enjoy.

Happy Does It!

22-01-11  This has been a crazy week.  My daughter has been sick for the entire week.  This is the main reason that I haven't really blogged.  I have been off my game all week because she is so ill. 

Why is it that a mother gets so upset when her child is sick?  Well, I think that this should be self-explanatory.  If you are a great mother, your heart breaks when you see your child in pain.  I think for me it's that I am unable to make her better that gets to me.  When she was small, when she fell and scraped her knees, I only needed to kiss and make them better, then she was on her way.  Now that she is older, the ol' Jedi mind trick doesn't work (actually, I think that I would get a look prior to the kissing it better).   You know the look, the "What do you think that you are doing ?" look.  You get it a lot with teenagers.  My favourite look for either girl is the "You don't know what you are talking about" ~or~ "How could you possibly understand?'  These are things that entertain me. 

Life dealing with teenagers is different.  I would never say difficult.  You do have your heart broken a few times.  Usually these times are when you feel helpless, abandoned, and of course dissappointed.  No matter if it is a GREAT teenager you have, they will always disappoint you somehow. 

Let's take a look at these three things.  First, the feeling of helplessness.    As your teenager starts to grow into their own little adult, they are going to do things that are not going to make any sense to you, and you will be sitting in the back seat whilst they make these decisions.  You will feel as if there is nothing that you can do, but the reality of it is that that is exactly what you should be doing.  Think of it as a quest your teen is on.  THE QUEST TO BECOME AN ADULT.  Your duty includes, but is not limited to; being there for them when they need you, wiping away tears, congratulating them on their successes, and loving them for their failures.  It is SO important for your teen to know that you love them unconditionally, without judgment.  Life is hard enough, but is more complicated when you feel that you are worth nothing, even if you are only a teenager.  Learn how to be empathetic, since the reality of it is you were once in their shoes.

Second is that feeling of abandonment.  This is one that starts as soon as they hit Junior High.  They go out with friends and start being out more than being home.  Although at this point you think that it is great, after all, you get a little freedom.  Your child has been in Elementary School, you made adjustments, but now you have no real need for a sitter.  This is very valid. Some people will deal with this freedom and impending change with grace, while others, like myself, have a much more difficult time with it.  As the years go by, I realize I really only have a couple of years that I have to spend great quality time with my daughter.  She will be graduating next summer.  She then will be off to University somewhere, but not here.  I don't blame her. I want the best education for her also.  Some call this the "empty nest syndrome," but really, I think they are trying to label something that doesn't really need a label.  We are allowed to feel lonely; that is how we learn to cope with these situations.  Plus, realistically speaking, we a not birds, so to say that we feel the same way that birds do seems silly.

The last thing is disappointment.  Well, we all feel this at some point, which is a good thing.  Actually, being disappointed in your teen allows you to come back to reality and get your head out of the clouds.  We have our perfect little beings, we shape them the way that we believe that they need to be shaped; our expectations of our children  become ridiculous.  People always use the phrase, "I want them to have it better than I did."  Noble idea, but what about your child?  Your child only knows what they have, not what you had.  Why do you tell them how great they have it?  H0w dare you compare your sad life to theirs? Instead of telling them how great they have it, try teaching your child to appreciate things by involving them in the household decisions.  Teach your child what they have, not by making them feel bad, but by making them feel good.  Take your child to a homeless shelter, a place for special needs people or even the animal shelter.  Stop treating your child like they need to be told things, because after all, you know everything.  The reason parents become disappointed in their children is because they have an expectation of their children, and anything less, well, lets the parents down.  That pedestal was built by you, the parent, not your child.  Perhaps  letting your child be happy might be much less of a disappoitment.

I am proud of both of my girls.  They both make me happy and keep me on my toes.  As the song goes..."That's Life!"  As I keep on saying to myself this beautiful year Happy Does It.

19-01-11  One thing that I have never lost in my life was the ability to dream.  I dream everyday.  Perhaps this means that I live my life in the clouds, but I love being there.  What a thing it is to dream.  You sit there and you think of the impossible and try to imagine the ways to make it possible.  A lot of the time it is only yourself that is that barricade which prevents you from reaching your goals.  Fear; it is a killer.  A dream killer for sure.

How many of us buy a lottery ticket 'just in case?'  We all have plans for that money, right?  We have mentally divided again and again, changing the plans that we previously had.  Oh, to dream.  We dream of life, family fortune, but truly at the basis of our dreams is happiness or what we perceive happiness to be.

Imagine if we were not able to dream.  This world would be so boring.  I mean really. 
We do deserve to keep that child-like part of us that allows us to be open to what to us is the unimaginable.  They say that everybody has a dream; I believe that it is more like everybody has dreams.  There are only a few that live within their dreams.  They find contentment.  Imagine what it would  be like to be content.  To be content.  Not giving up a piece of yourself to be who you truly are.  That is crazy right?  Not really. 

It is completely unfathomable to me to imagine how much a dream could change my life.  It doesn't even have to be a literal lottery; it could be a lottery of life.  Small victories are things that allow you to achieve your dreams.  There are people out there who look around at the small house/apartment and dream about a bigger place.  We hope and pray for the opportunities to be bestowed upon us so that we can achieve our dreams.  When we are in a state of inertia, then we will go nowhere.  When we move just a little, we can build up the speed to achieve something that seemed impossible.  Small victories, that's it.   Do you honestly think that highly successful people knew that they would end up where they are when they began their journey? 

Put your head in the clouds and be proud of it.  It is a rare breed of person who allows the bidding of the universe to interweave their souls to the rhythm of everyday life.  Chance is a big part of your life.  Do not be afraid to dream. It is what keeps us honest and sane.  Honest because we still possess that child-like spirit;  sane because we are still aware that we have things to live for, aim for and achieve.

Happy does it...  ;o)

16-01-11  Depression is one of the worst things  that can happen. It effects you and everyone around you.  I know that I am starting to sound like one of those commercials, but I want you to know that everyone experiences this in one form or another.  Everyone.

Sometimes you feel overwhelmingly alone, like no one will ever understand anything that you are saying.  Other times, you feel like you are the only person who would ever make the stupid mistakes that you have made.  Then there are times when you feel like no one likes you (How could they? You are such a loser.).  You feel unsuccessful.  Friends and family seem to vanish, just confirming what you suspected in the first place; LOSER.  Well I have some news; at some point in everyone's life, they feel this way,

I recently had a conversation with someone about depression and the effects that it has on a person.  I don't need to watch a TV show to know the signs.  I know first hand.  My depression was that of a self-destructive behaviour.  I would do things that I really probably should never have done.  I would sleep.  Then I would sleep some more.  Then when I thought that I was ready I would sleep some more.  I was prescribed some anti-depressant, but to be honest, it depressed me more that I had to be on drugs to get out of this funk.  I thought that no one cared about me.  I was one who people would look at and talk about.  I am the failure? After all I control my own destiny, right? 

True.  You can control some things in your life, but not everything.  I can control how much food I eat.  I can control what time I wake up.  I can control how much TV I am going to watch.  I control my excerise regimen (which at present is nil).  I can control what time I go to bed/wake up/ get coffee.  You see, you do have control in your life. You just don't see this when you are depressed. 

Life is about balance.  Balancing the good, the bad, the ugly.  If I can control what time I am getting up, then I can control whether or not I am going to have  a good day or not.  The power of your brain is indescribable.  You can control your actions and how you are going to feel and react to others.  Use the Self-fulfilling prophesy to your advantage.  Set your day up the way you want it to be.   Wake up and say to yourself, "I am going to have a great day today."  Say it out loud.  By saying it out loud, you are not only expressing yourself, but you are also using your brain in several ways.  First, you think it.  Then you say it.  Then you hear it.  Then it is processed again through the brain.  One. Two. Three. Four. Right away, you have developed a positive pathway for your day.  A path to a good day.  Now, here's another key needed;  you need to follow through with this.  You need to be better than yourself.  After all, failure should not be an option.  You have to be able to stop yourself from taking the easy route and going down the pathway of least resistence.  When you are faced with something that will ruin your great day, look at it, and ask yourself, "Is this worth ruining my day for?"   Surprisingly enough, it probably is not.   Something I tell my daughter all the time is this:  I get her to ask herself (when she is facing some difficulties at school with other girls) "Should I really expend so much energy on this person who I don't even like?"  Also, I tell her that perhaps she should be using her energy towards something more important to her benefit.

Some caution I might add.  If you start off by saying that your day is going to be terrible, you have started your day down a negative trail which will be hard to veer from. Everything you see around you is going to prove that you are right and your day sucks.  It actually will put these things in prominance, highlighting the negative.

I am not one to say that medication does not help people, because clearly medicine has helped a great deal of people.  Modern medicine is quite the marvel, and there is a lot for which we should be thankful.  Depression is a serious condition.  If you think that you are suffering from depression, you should seek medical help.  At least they can give you some tools that will help. 

Now, on a more positive note:  I decided to write this to let people know that they are not alone.  One of my happys is when I get to help people.  I have never claimed to be anything super special, but I can listen, and I have been through a lot in my life.  I am attempting to use my life experience to open doorways and eyes of people who are like me in someways.  After all, at the core, we all have the same basic needs.

Happy Does It!

15-01-11 Today I am going to talk about something that I absolutly love to do.  I love going to spas.  I know it's self-indulgence, but who cares?  There is something special about being pampered.  I can not afford to go often, but when I do, I enjoy myself. 

I just love having my nails painted.  OPI is my absolute favourite nail polish.  I love the creative names of each polish. On rare occasions, my daughter and I will have a girls day;  something out of the blue for the two of us.  This is the best time for the two of us to bond.  We laugh and watch girl movies.  Sometimes we deem the day "disaster day," and out comes the "end of time" disaster movies. 

Mairi and I have a great relationship.  I may have been a teenage mother but my daughter loves and respects me.  "How," you might ask?  I have NEVER blurred the lines between mother and friend.  Mairi and I are great friends but at the end of it I am ALWAYS her mother.  The bond between mothers and daughters ought to be a sacred bond, and quite frankly, between Mairi and me, it is.

With Mairi, I have always been completely honest.  There is nothing about me that is a mystery to her.  My revelations do not always paint me in an angelic glow, but come on. Really; I had Mairi when I was sixteen. Who would I be kidding? 

I am not afraid of my femininty.  I love getting pampered. Mothers, daughters, sisters and aunts should all be proud of being girls.  It's a girly day. 

Happy does it!!

14-01-11 Listening is a skill that makes me happy.  I mean it.  I used to think that I knew how to listen, but I was just kidding myself.  I only heard what I wanted to hear and ignored the rest.  My brain would file away information based on importance to me. 

I try very hard now to listen to what others have to say.  What may not be important to me may be important to someone else, and I don't have the right to pick and choose.  You see, when someone confides in you, they have instilled a trust to you and you should respect that trust.

My favourite part of listening allows you to live in a moment, to stop time.  To pause. When you hear all the living that is going on around you, why wouldn't you want to live within it?  Birds chirping.  Wind Blowing.  Waves crashing.  People talking about people that you don't know.  Cars running.  Music.  There is a blank canvass that starts everyday when you wake up, and it is all determined by you what is on it.  

13-01-11 Did you know that singing is good for your health?  Really.  It helps your body learn how to relax and taps into your psychological self as well.  

Some of us are blessed with voices of angels and others, not so much.   I have been singing a very long time.  I sing everywhere and I love doing it.  To me, singing is very personal.  It makes me happy no matter what is going on in my life.  I have been known to sing "out of the blue" just because I could.  Singing comes to me naturally.  I don't know why, but I have been able to sing well for a long time.  Do you know how difficult it is for me to say that I am able to sing well?  It is extremely difficult.  I only believe this to be true because others have told me.  Strangers.  People who don't know me at all think that I have a great voice.  What is that?  I do not understand. 

When I was small, whenever I got upset, I would sing.  I would sing my little heart out.  It made me feel better, happy.  I would literally sing myself happy.  I still sing myself happy.  My husband has told me on several occasions that my songs would break anyone's heart.  He also tells me that he has never heard anyone sing like me.  My singing comes from deep in my soul and apparently it is audible.  He tells me often if I would only record myself singing a "Jaime" original, I would make some money.  So here is the thing;  I think that everyone has this piece of their soul aching to get out.

Anyone who really knows me knows that singing is truly my happy.  I thought that I would share this with you.  My happy. 

I found this article on-line that is interesting which talks about the benefits of singing
http://health.howstuffworks.com/mental-health/human-nature/happiness/singing-happy.htm

12-01-11 Everyone has experienced this at least once in their lifetime.  Anxiety. Yikes!  You have something that you have to do but you are afraid.  You become anxious and your body reacts.  You pause and take a breath.  For myself, I focus on that breath and it appears to calm me down.  I take a breath in and then I release it slowly.

If you go to a see a  psychologist  because of stress, depending on their training, they may teach you how to breathe deeply using your diaphragm.  By breathing using your diaphragm, you relax your body.  I mean, you really relax your body. This technique is for meditating.  George, the girls and I went to The Halifax Shambhala Centre to be taught the proper way of meditating.  Believe it or not, the four of us enjoyed it quite a bit.  It was amazing the amount of knowledge and intelligence that came out of our two teenaged girls.  If anyone is interested in trying this they have an open house (open to the public) at 7pm on Wednesdays.  They will teach you how to meditate.  You don't have to become buddhist, either.

Just taking the time to breathe is something that I take personally.  It seems like such a simple idea; perhaps that is why I think that it is an imperative action that we all need to take time to do.  When I was small, my father would take me to my grandparents house located in West Berlin, Nova Scotia.  One of the most prominent memories that I have of this time is when my dad would take me down to the shore.  We would walk along the beach, go clam digging, and watch birds.  There is a distinct smell that you find along the shoreline of Nova Scotia; it is a a combination of salt water, seaweed and sand.  Some would find this combination repulsive, but for me it is a thing of beauty.  When I think of sitting back and taking in a breath, and I think of those beaches, the air, and the waves crashing  against the shore, I relax.  I go back to a place of calm.   I am then happy.

Our lives are full of busy.  We are all in a rush to get things done, get there early, and try not to be late.  All this rushing around; we all forget to take care of ourselves.  Breathing is not only a necessity for living, but it is also great for living well.  Slow down.  Look around.  Our world is beautiful and full of life.  We are all so very fortunate for all that has been placed in front of us.  I am greatful for this life that has been betowed upon me.

Today, take a moment and breathe.   

11.01.11  You hear it, but you don't know how to react.  There are people around you and you are afraid that you may make a fool out of yourself. Still the beat continues.  It is instinct.  It is pacing your heartbeat, yet still you are afraid.  Suddenly out of nowhere your toes start moving, tapping to that beat.  Can anyone see this?  Is it alright?Your hands start to move, tapping, keeping the beat.  Your head begins the same motion.  You have been had.  Some musical genius has tapped into your primal self and has made you their subject.  You can not control what is about to happen and really at this point you don't care.  You get up.  You start to shake the thing that your mama gave you; you begin to smile and laugh. 

There is something about dancing that releases a piece of your soul.  Music is primal.  No matter how you look at it, it taps into your inner self and takes over.  The movements don't even make any sense but you feel great.  When you lose those inhibitions to just get up and dance, it is okay.  Why is it you have this great feeling when you watch those movies where it seems everyone breaks out into a dance?  It is because there is a point where everyone lets go.  Whoever said we shouldn't dance never learned how to let go.  It is okay to enjoy music; just like it is alright to enjoy food.  Food fills your physical self where music fills your inner self.

We should all dance, both literally and metaphorically.  Let go.  Allow the forces of the universe to direct you.

I love to dance.  I am not a great dancer by any stretch of the imagination, but I love to dance.  I love hearing music and find my personal groove to it.  So let's dance.