With everything that has gone on this past month in Moncton, New Brunswick, I thought that it might be nice to write something positive. 

For those readers who are unaware of what happened in Moncton, New Brunswick this past month I will catch up up to speed.  Later in the evening, around 7:30pm, a man with an arsenal of guns terrorized the city of Moncton, and in this process, he shot and killed three RCMP officers, and injured two more.  The RCMP did eventually apprehend the man and he is currently in custody.  

Human behaviour has always fascinated me and sometimes human behaviour breaks my heart, but in more instances than not it makes me happy and proud.  

Although, I have never ever been in the situation that the citizens of Moncton were in, the resilience and respect that everyone had shown towards each other and the RCMP, is amazing.  Please take pause and think about how difficult it was for the other RCMP officers to continue to look for the man that shot and killed their friend, colleague and brother.

On the steps of the RCMP precinct in Moncton, shortly after the suspect was caught, flowers, candles and letters of respect were placed as tears flowed down the faces of the grateful citizens of Moncton.  Memories of the fallen were discussed on the news, praises of thanks and appreciation flowed from the tips of the mouths of everyone affected.   It goes back to the saying 'you don't know what you got until it is gone.'   Statements through the tears validates this statement, more so, it shows that we take a lot of things for granted.  Statements like; 'They (the officers that were shot and killed) were just doing their job'; 'These men got up to go to work today and will never go home to their families'; 'They died to protect us.'  These statements are all true.  

There are a lot of things I could say about the reality of how much we take for granted everyday, but I am not going to pick at that scab today.  It is not about ridicule, it is a day to be thankful.  It is a day to remember.  It is a day to love.  Show love, be love and give love.

I would like to express my deepest sympathies to the families of those three police officers.  By family, I mean everyone whose lives have been touched by the love that these men gave.  It is now a time to reflect on the wonderful contributions that these men made to the lives of everyone that they touched.  It is time to show love and support to the wives and children of these men, their time for healing will be long, and extremely difficult.  If they are shown love, they will keep out of the dark.  They will see that their Dad/Spouses are heroes to all of the citizens of Moncton and our beautiful country.  

Please remember to never forget.  Do not forget the lives that are put at risk every hour of everyday, to keep our freedom.  

Happiness lies within you, and your ability to see beyond yourself.  

As always,

Happy Does It  ;o)

I don't know where I heard it from, but years ago someone said or I read that it takes 21 days to form a habit.  I have used this information as a guideline for things like changing my diet or exercising  (Honestly, it is a work in progress).  However, when I think about being happy and living the way that I truly believe is the right way to live, I just have to remember that life is a journey and because of this, instant gratification is not possible.

Being happy is something that is inside of you.  It is something that you have to access within yourself.  Sit back sometime, alone, breathe in the air, drink coffee/tea or whatever, ask yourself 'what makes me happy?'  Right away, if you have children, you go there; your children make you happy.  Your partner, your friends, your family....the usual suspects.  I will let you in on something: you may feel happy when you think about your children, partner, family and friends, but they are not what makes you happy.

What you are accessing is the memories of things and experiences of 'good times,' which is all well and good, but you need to dig a little deeper.   If your children are like mine, although there are MANY memories about them that make me feel happy, there is also things that  made me very sad as well.

So let's work with the idea that your children make you  happy. What about them makes you happy?  Be specific.  With my daughters, the memory of the two of them in the backseat of the car, driving wherever; Mairi would tell these outlandish stories, I would intervene informing Ashleen that Mairi perhaps is exaggerating just a little, Ashleen would say 'I know, but I like the stories anyway.'  I love this memory because I remember looking at George and thinking that we weren't making a mistake blending our families.  The girls loved each other almost instantly, like they were two beings meant to be together.  My happiness from that moment was and is the feeling of being part of a whole.  We were a family.  Over time, children get older, they go their own way and somehow when George and I sit down to eat, empty chairs feel sad.  

If you look at memories as being all of your happiness , then your happiness is a shooting star and it will fade fast.  Memories are great, but you need to realize the core reason of  that memory which made you happy. What is it that made you happy?  You can not recreate a memory, but you can intellectualize what the core of the story was;  'remember this:  the moral of the story is....?'  From the story that I just shared, the core of the story was and is that I feel happy when I feel like I am part of a whole. This is something that I can continue to do, by nurturing the good relationships that I have, and not focusing too much on the complicated/challenging relationships.  Also, using my time wisely, and not always trying to be the person that fixes everything.  To be honest, it is exhausting when you are like me and you are always trying to fix things.  I am definitely a person who likes to be in control of my environment, so going through all of the paces to bring out happy is not always that easiest thing.

Go ahead, find the core of your happiness!

And as always,

Happy Does It!  :o)

Over the past few months, to say that I have not been myself would be a complete understatement.  I find it funny how someone who loves life can go so far off track so easily.  I have the ability to speak what I believe, but practicing what I speak of is not an easy task.  Unfortunately, when this happens, I find myself trekking back to where it is and always was comfortable: the defeatist.  The “why bother”, becomes very prominent in my speech, and it really becomes a little dark cloud.

So let me update, just a little, as to why I have not been myself. Only one word can completely describe what is going on: overwhelmed.  I am completely overwhelmed.  So many things seemed to happen in the last three and a half months that I have not caught up with, both emotionally and mentally.  I am not sure what you do when you are in this position, but I become a child.  I get angry and tired.  I become more and more frustrated (where my anger stems from), and everything I see is wrong.  This tireless circular motion of being unable to control my life just completely engulfs me.  It swallows me whole. 

It makes me sad because I know that this is not who I am, but it is the easiest place for me to go.  I lived there for so long, that it is comfortable.  For the past few years, I have finally come to realize that this is not where I belong.  I am not an angry person, I love with all of my heart and I see the good in all people, even those people who are unable to see it in themselves.  I will make you smile, because I know that one thing that you don’t know, that you and I are a lot more alike than different.  If you choose to believe that you are a chosen one, you are not seeing everything around you.

So here I am, writing again.  This is something that I love to do.  It does make me feel joy.  It is my way of verbalizing what I am thinking without the ‘live’ audience.  Plus it gives you the benefit of reading it, agreeing with it, or disagreeing with it, in your private little way.  I’d like to feel that my sharing with you helps you on your journey, knowing that perhaps out there somewhere, someone else feels the exact same way that I do.

I like breaking down barriers.  I like being able to expose people for who they really are because I know in my heart that somewhere down the line, someone told you that you were not good enough, that you were not valuable, and that you are worthless.  I just want you to know, that you are not the only one who has heard that once or twice (or even more than that in my case), and unfortunately you will not be the last.  Words can hurt, but only if you believe them.  If you give someone that power to hurt you, they will hurt you.  Perhaps not intentionally, but eventually, something that they say or do will hurt your feelings of self.  So when you give away your power, make sure you choose wisely. 

So, how do I get back to me?  How do I get myself out of this slump that I am in, and how do I feel better?  Well, I have discovered that the first thing that I am doing is changing my diet.  Crap going in means crap coming out.  I need to make that conscious decision to make myself a priority.  I am tired and my body isn’t being fed properly.  So my body and brain is telling me that I suck, because I really do. I am not taking care of myself.  I am not ‘treating my body like a temple,’ more like a convenience store.  I tend to take the easy way, not being lazy, just ‘don’t have the time.’  So the change is now, and is happening now.  Yesterday, at work, I resisted a cream cheese covered carrot cake; that for me is power.  Trust me it was really difficult, but I decided I am doing this all in, no exceptions.  I cannot make exceptions so early in this journey; because I need to get in a routine that eating healthy is the routine and unhealthy habits is the exception, not the norm.   What is that saying: ‘eat to live, not live to eat.’  I do love food.  I love texture and taste, so eating healthy is not going to be the easiest thing (Any suggestions or healthy recipes would be greatly appreciated).  With healthy eating, I have also incorporated, albeit slowly, exercise.  I know some of my former co-workers would love this fact.  George and I have tried Zumba, and well, although neither one of us is great at it (yet), we are having fun, which for me is half the battle.  It also helps that the class is made up of over 60 people and they come in all shapes and sizes.  The enthusiasm of the instructor is contagious. I recommend Zumba to anyone who just loves to dance and have fun.

First part on the way back is under way.  The next part is the mind.  Well, I have a plan for the as well.  Starting today, I am going to have a daily happy posted on my website.  It will be comprised of just little things that made me smile that day.  I have to focus on things that make me happy, I have to not focus on everything that is going 'wrong,’ or I will get trapped in that vicious cycle again.  I am refusing to let that happen.  Plus a little therapy never hurt anyone.

I think that this is a great start.  I truly believe that when you get yourself back into balance, then your soul or spirit will raise up again.  My spirituality is strong.  I think that is one of the reasons why I am unable to get consumed by the anger and hate.  I recognise that something is out of whack, and I change my focus.  It also helps that I am highly intelligent (yeah I said that, I need to recognize).

One step at a time…

As always,

Happy Does It! :o)